Monday, 26 September 2011

Why do women who love women love the way they do

This discusion is as the result of  Diopelo Thefirstlady King  of Friends of the closets  And her question Why are we dating other women? Especially the ones who have been with guys before,what caused the cross pathing? And why do we use toys.
The first being when is the best time to discover their sexuality, what gets a woman to realize that they are attracted to women, is it possible that a woman can have a sexual shift form men to woman, and woman to men? Do women who once dated men use toys as a substitute for penis satisfactions?

My response:  Amazing enough, what differentiates a homo from hetero is the sexual orientation.  However recent research is confirming that there is more than sexual orientation to how homos are crafted. In an article Wired This Way by  It is translating that  some male homos are born with personality traits that are supposedly feminine e.g nurturing. That we are born with it.  The only journey that you learn alone is your sexual journey.  You are groomed into religions. Our culture becomes the way of our being, and traditions tend to be embodied into our femininity.  We are born with different backgrounds, cultures and religions. At best our background deduces a people we become later. For most people sexual awareness happens later in their teens, when they become aware of sexual sensations. It is in this sensations when u discover that you are attracted to the opposite sex, or same sex. But again it is not until you have experienced either sex that you are able to honestly say I am truly satisfied with my sexuality.

Becoming aware of our feelings?

What gets a person to realize that she is attracted to another. It is awareness. When do we become aware of our feelings? Some women are lucky to be aware of lesbianism at a tender age, in that way they don’t have to waste time and energy on men. (LOL). It is in that identity that they are able to associate their sexuality with common norms, hence butch or femme, or tomboy for that matter. Some do not have the luxury of finding their sexuality. The culture and norms become their reality. Based on sex, that is female. You will be expected to be groomed to be female, and get married to a man, and have kids cos that is expected of you. Because being a lesbian is unhead of, in those communities, even if it is heard of it is not a norm, we find ourselves complying cos it is expected of us to. And is she is lucky to be aware at worst it is too late to change the norm, there are kids involved and not just kids, but husbands and the bigger society. That they would rather not have complicated in their Facebook status.
Is it possible for a woman to shift from man to woman, and woman to man?
Yes it is. The only way to be sure of your feeling and sexual gratification is through exploring. How else can you be sure that you are what you are unless, you taste. Because we are a judging society we tend to assume that bisexuality is done by greedy men and women. And yet it could be that the offering of each experience are different, and satisfying on its own. We will never know the sensations of the
bisexual, unless we are in their space. Can a lesbian woman have a bit of both. Our society tends to undermine lesbian liquidity, circumstances and the energy we carry as and when we engage other beings. For those who are fine with it, they can honestly share that like a choice in wishing for beef or chicken. We have our choices. Also we must note the cultural pressures and economic dependencies for some  “lesbian wonna be”. We can’t judge them even if they are depilating our stock.
Do women who once dated men use toys as a substitute for penis satisfactions?

I am sure that is stereotyping. It is lack of awareness more than anything. Men and women use toys, not to substitute their sexuality but to enhance it. Toys are made to be played with, to titillate where hands and penises can’t. And to be embraced by both sexes. Until I used my hand, I never thought it was possible to gratify and be gratified by another. I have actually sent my hand for electro tesing just to check the sensation on my fingers, and how that impacts on the nervous system and my sexual gratification

I am humbled.

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