tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2963637823175978382024-02-20T00:13:51.522-08:00Lesbian AfricaThis blog is about lesbian reallife issues and discussions as and when they happen.Fundi Ndabenihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07013946852106759783noreply@blogger.comBlogger20125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-296363782317597838.post-58328825347152053742011-11-24T06:45:00.000-08:002011-11-24T07:25:55.751-08:00….. You said you will never leave me.....<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I was playing Ruby Turner song “Stay with me babe” on repeat. I find myself with a tear in my eye.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It reminds me of us, me and Yolanda the lover of my lifetime. How I used to hold her to my chest each time tis song was playing, and we will slow dance to what will culminate to the most beautiful sexual moment. I loved her, I really did. I love her still, but differently. I guess I had to learn to forgive myself cos this in one love I thought I would have stayed in it. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As she always said I have anchored, and I would say she is my nest. It was meant to be forever. I don’t know how we had to say goodbye. She meant the world to me. My lovely Yolanda. </span><br />
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">She was introduced to me by a friend who thought we look alike. She said she had just seen a calmer shorter studious version on me. We met at a friend’s birthday party. I don’t remember being apart from her beyond that. I like the kind of music she likes. I am a Jill Scot fan, she likes Floerty, I like john Legend she liked Anthony Hammilton. I liked poetry, she had a guitar.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had an old soul, she wore hers on her sleeve. She liked novels, I liked positive thinking material. I enjoyed cooking, she did not mind washing the dishes. We were meant to be. </span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I think I like that I walked in knowing that it won’t be an ease journey. Lesbian relationships don’t last. Mine was no exception. Compared to me she was on her third one and half years of relationships, I was from a long term seven years. I had promised her, from the beginning that I would love to be with her forever, or shall I say seven years. Our chemistry was the most unbelievable bond; some of you can only read about.</span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I m a counseling psychologist by profession, she was an accountant. There differences in our being I lived in the moment she lived for the future. She always told me I take my work home and expect her to learn and know relationship dynamics. Yet she wanted to believe that there is no perfect solution for relationships. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I guess I was hoping to equip her to deal with what comes our way. “<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">The relationship dynamics</i>”. Like most peeps of my kind, I loved her presence as much as I liked her being away. I hv had my space, she had her space,<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>we had our space. I had a <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>bought a townhouse where we<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>spent our time together, <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>three days a week and or longer depending on a need, and the other days in our respective homes. </span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The more were apart the more I wanted to be with her. On route from Sandton with friends during lunch, I stopped at Mango checked out these long beautiful cream dresses on display, I could see us wearing them with to the altar. I took a picture of them, sent them to her to daydream.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had an ideal of how our wedding would be. An outdoor event at my garden with <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>a row of white garden chairs, and a red strip of red carpet in between. She said she wanted to wear a vale, I was going to whack my dread locks, probably a pearly flower on my head. We both loved sunsets. I was praying for an afternoon wedding. And the evening reception was going to be at her house where 40 guests were to be invited to the long open table dinner. DJ Sambulo and DJ Mbali would have played golden time classics, dance songs.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And Elle would have played all instruments except drums. She is a good pianist, the best violinist too.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was going to sing for my lady a composed song declaring my undying love. Perhaps have our song “Stay with me babe” on tune and dance like it’s just the two of us. </span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Infact I wanted our big day and beyond to be beautiful. What I had asked of her was to ask her parents, what it would mean for them if we got married, someday,<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>and what procedures they will expect us to follow to smoothen our sour relationship. We also do need some support mechanism as lesbians, you know. Worst is when you do not have support structure, or a cousin to go back to when all is not working</span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">For our anniversary we booked at Monte Casino. We had dinner at thee Cantare and we were serenaded by<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>live music below. They actually played the most relevant song form Kenny G Silhouette on flute, and later a Carole King- “ Will you still love me tomorrow” . I held her in my arms and danced slowly with her in silence. I genuinely loved her. I wanted to take things easy too. I remembered how I felt in love too soon to quick with my first love, how I find myself in a marriage without exit clauses and the relationship baseline. Incidentally we brought rings as anniversary gifts. She called my ring a promise ring; I called mine an eternity ring. Her words were she knows it’s difficult, to stay true. But she promise to love me. And mine words to her were: to eternity.</span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">To solidify our commitment and draft our commitment, we had planned a weekend away at Hotel Forum Holumi, at Muddlesdrift where we were going to go away to our relationship conference, to share on our relationship baseline just the two of us. It is a boutique hotel. We were going to go to the excellent Spa, and decongest, detoxify, have dinner for two at the sunset, at the edge of the mountain.I have known her eighteen months then, I have been counting my blessing.</span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">You see as a psychologist my sessions do include relationship planning and advices for those who are getting married soon on how to stay happy, rekindle your relationships. I had thought it will be easy to work with her on that. I mean I get flowers and gifts from clients who would be telling me that I have helped them work out their differences in relationships. I had hoped that I have instilled values would proof our relationship cheating and dishonesty.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For an example, in instances where there was an opportunity to cheat, I would have ensured that I develop a cheating proof mechanism. Each time one part feels like cheating, our cheating proof mechanism included that partners needed to share about such temptations way in advance so that it is not the devil’s thought. The more you spoke about it, chances are your partner won’t do it if she has your interest at heart. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Bad thoughts are deceitful when thought alone. </span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I have always wondered if she wants kids, where would she like to raise them, what role she would want me to play in raising the kids. Whether she aspires to have a boat, and travel the world. What she envisaged to happen when one of us passes on. I did a lot of travelling for my group therapies. That was serious problem for Yolanda. She wanted to see me every day, to call her consistently and loose myself in her. And when that did not happen, she felt neglected and unloved. And thought I m cheating,</span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Yolanda’s parents had a hard time accepting her identity as a lesbian. They were a perfect couple, went to church every Sunday. Her mother Wendy used to wear suites with steering hats. I remember when we met for dinner. She was dressed in a cream dress and a pearly necklace. I like the eeriness and their thick emotions about her guest. That is me. I liked how she consciously wiped her mouth with her table apron that was almost red blood when we left from the red lipstick she had. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She asked drilling questions like does my family approve of my state of being, do I go to church, do I know that it’s a sin we can’t be gay, we are insulting God. I am only grateful that I went there with my earplugs. I could hardly hear what she was saying. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She was her obnoxious self. She said she wanted grandchildren, the more we explained the procedures available; she continuously said she saw nothing wrong with the normal way. I now knew where Yolanda’s unhappiness and gloominess came from.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Her father said that if I were a man he would have said, he wishes that I honor her fragile daughter. They always spoke of Mike being the most suitable suitor for her. That they had spoken to him about his role in making and raising a good wife.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I thought they were going to like the thought that we are finally settling down. After all I was suppose to honor her daughter. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I could imagine her family at the front row next to the altar. Her mother with her designer hat. And her lanky husband, my soon to be to be my official father in law seating next to her with the handkerchief that matches the tie and her hat.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I could imagine her faking her tears of joy yet not so joyous. </span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I had a week’s conference in Cape Town. During the course of the week I was not feeling well. I had a stomach bug so painful. Not even Immodium could silence. I decided on a Wednesday that I will fly back home to die in the arms of my life. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I managed to get an evening flight, drove to her house. My phone was not charged. Her car was parked outside. Thank God I had a house key, walked up the door and opened.</span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Like I normally do, I was calling her name in the passage way to her bedroom. When I open the door, there she was with another woman in bed. And two glasses of wine and the Spier Chenic Blanc. And she skipped out the bed, apologizing…… I have replayed that scene over and over again in my mind. It does not make sense. It can’t make sense. Six weeks later I recive a pack form the post office. It’s a copied CD, Ruby Turner <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“ remember u said yo never gonna leave me, remember, I am asking you begging u, please”<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>Fundi Ndabenihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07013946852106759783noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-296363782317597838.post-18965811154714967862011-11-20T03:51:00.000-08:002011-11-20T03:51:51.367-08:00Dinner 4 8 Plenary Session<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Dinner 4 8 <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Plenary Meeting Report<o:p></o:p></span></b><br />
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Preamble: <o:p></o:p></span></b></div><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I attend task team meetings and some NGO’s (LGBIT) meetings. Just <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>to get grips of what is happening in <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>LGBTI<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>community industry. But also to note the gaps. I have been told many a times that the African Lesbian seems to be illusive, or she does not take herself seriously or she is an alcoholic who is governed by alcohol. They say if you want see her, tell her there is alcohol, women and sex. For a moment I thought that is an insult. And yet in reality I am beginning to believe it. Who is the African Lesbian, and what does she want.</span><br />
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">When I came out as a lesbian, I wanted to see material about the real life stories of the African Lesbian; I wanted to know the reality stories are told about culture, lifestyle, and acceptance. I wanted to know who I come out to. It was obvious that there is no structure, a formulated structure, and gay men seemed to have planed it all. I made a promise to myself that one day when I can, I want to be part to a progressive lesbian community. So dinner 4 8 is one of the efforts done to create awareness on what matters about being a lesbian. </span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I wanted to host the plenary session at Love and Revolution, cos that is owned by lesbians. Also <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>cos it is one place where change is spoken of through poetry song and the dance. Unfortunately it was closed; they close at 13h00. But I went next door sat close to the area, so that when I see a lesbian coming through, I will invite them to join me there. Only four pitched, and they are my friends. You think they pitched cos they are lesbians who wants to see the change, or cos they are my friends. I had an open tap of R1000, our drinks were R160. </span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Now, here is this person whose social responsibility is directed towards working together to help change the perception for African lesbians, and also to create awareness and demystify mysteries about being a lesbian. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And mobilizing from the ground, or grass root by engaging with on core issues. And none of those who were vocal and supportive of the Dinner 4 8 were there. The question is, is it relevant. Should it be done. </span></div><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 16pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">The minutes of the Dinner 4 8 Plenary <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>meeting.<o:p></o:p></span></span></b><br />
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I outlined that I will be allocating a minimum amount of R2000 for the dinner, that other lesbians who feel it will be adding value can contribute towards the kitty. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A three meal course is prepared shared at the table. We plan to do it anyway. Guests will be selected by the crew, depending on their expertise and understanding. </span></div><br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -0.25in;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">1.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span></b><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">We agreed that the purpose of Dinner 4 8 is:<o:p></o:p></span></b></div><br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">To showcase positive African lesbian lifestyle by inviting upcoming and successful lesbians to dinner for a meal, where as the young have role models to look up to.</span></div><br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">To showcase lifestyle through careers as subjects covered will require expects, hopefully from the (African) lesbian community</span></div><br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Invite existing experts like chefs, audiovisual specialists to put together the complete 12months programmes, including scripting, and editing, also designers to showcase and sample their interior designers, graphic designers etc. </span></div><br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">To discuss in length relevant subjects that impact on the African Lesbian: culture, <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>identity stereotypes, sexuality health, and subjects that are a mystery to many e.g: changing sex, butch parenting, </span></div><br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">It is meant to bring together a scattered talent to be molded into being for the generations yet to come, and for ourselves and as a community to share our reality. </span></div><br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">2.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">We brainstormed on subjects that can be discussed, what could be shared; what the outcome should be. What we were not sure about who are the most relevant lesbians to invite and engage. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Also whether Friday Dinner, or Saturday as the best day to host the show.</span></div><br />
<table border="1" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="MsoTableGrid" style="border-collapse: collapse; border: currentColor; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-padding-alt: 0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-yfti-tbllook: 1184;"><thead>
<tr style="mso-yfti-firstrow: yes; mso-yfti-irow: 0;"> <td style="background: rgb(217, 149, 148); border: 1pt solid windowtext; mso-background-themecolor: accent2; mso-background-themetint: 153; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 63.9pt;" valign="top" width="85"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Month<o:p></o:p></span></b></div></td> <td style="background: rgb(217, 149, 148); border-color: windowtext windowtext windowtext rgb(0, 0, 0); border-style: solid solid solid none; border-width: 1pt 1pt 1pt 0px; mso-background-themecolor: accent2; mso-background-themetint: 153; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-left-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 81pt;" valign="top" width="108"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Theme<o:p></o:p></span></b></div></td> <td style="background: rgb(217, 149, 148); border-color: windowtext windowtext windowtext rgb(0, 0, 0); border-style: solid solid solid none; border-width: 1pt 1pt 1pt 0px; mso-background-themecolor: accent2; mso-background-themetint: 153; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-left-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 1.75in;" valign="top" width="168"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Who are invited <o:p></o:p></span></b></div></td> <td style="background: rgb(217, 149, 148); border-color: windowtext windowtext windowtext rgb(0, 0, 0); border-style: solid solid solid none; border-width: 1pt 1pt 1pt 0px; mso-background-themecolor: accent2; mso-background-themetint: 153; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-left-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 117pt;" valign="top" width="156"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Crew Requirements<o:p></o:p></span></b></div></td> <td style="background: rgb(217, 149, 148); border-color: windowtext windowtext windowtext rgb(0, 0, 0); border-style: solid solid solid none; border-width: 1pt 1pt 1pt 0px; mso-background-themecolor: accent2; mso-background-themetint: 153; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-left-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 90.9pt;" valign="top" width="121"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Outcome<o:p></o:p></span></b></div></td> </tr>
</thead> <tbody>
<tr style="mso-yfti-irow: 1;"> <td style="background-color: transparent; border-color: rgb(0, 0, 0) windowtext windowtext; border-style: none solid solid; border-width: 0px 1pt 1pt; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-top-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 63.9pt;" valign="top" width="85"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Jan 28<sup><span style="font-size: x-small;">th</span></sup> <o:p></o:p></span></b></div></td> <td style="background-color: transparent; border-color: rgb(0, 0, 0) windowtext windowtext rgb(0, 0, 0); border-style: none solid solid none; border-width: 0px 1pt 1pt 0px; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-left-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-top-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 81pt;" valign="top" width="108"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Financial Planning </span></div></td> <td style="background-color: transparent; border-color: rgb(0, 0, 0) windowtext windowtext rgb(0, 0, 0); border-style: none solid solid none; border-width: 0px 1pt 1pt 0px; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-left-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-top-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 1.75in;" valign="top" width="168"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">A successful lesbian who has made it through advance financial planning, and 5 lesbian who want a financial mentor, and </span></div></td> <td style="background-color: transparent; border-color: rgb(0, 0, 0) windowtext windowtext rgb(0, 0, 0); border-style: none solid solid none; border-width: 0px 1pt 1pt 0px; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-left-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-top-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 117pt;" valign="top" width="156"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">A scripter</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">An events planner</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">A chef</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">A interior designer <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">A videographer </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">an expert in financial planning</span></div></td> <td style="background-color: transparent; border-color: rgb(0, 0, 0) windowtext windowtext rgb(0, 0, 0); border-style: none solid solid none; border-width: 0px 1pt 1pt 0px; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-left-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-top-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 90.9pt;" valign="top" width="121"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">A better planned future.</span></div></td> </tr>
<tr style="mso-yfti-irow: 2;"> <td style="background-color: transparent; border-color: rgb(0, 0, 0) windowtext windowtext; border-style: none solid solid; border-width: 0px 1pt 1pt; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-top-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 63.9pt;" valign="top" width="85"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Feb 24<sup><span style="font-size: x-small;">th</span></sup> <o:p></o:p></span></b></div></td> <td style="background-color: transparent; border-color: rgb(0, 0, 0) windowtext windowtext rgb(0, 0, 0); border-style: none solid solid none; border-width: 0px 1pt 1pt 0px; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-left-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-top-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 81pt;" valign="top" width="108"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Love and Relationship</span></div></td> <td style="background-color: transparent; border-color: rgb(0, 0, 0) windowtext windowtext rgb(0, 0, 0); border-style: none solid solid none; border-width: 0px 1pt 1pt 0px; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-left-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-top-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 1.75in;" valign="top" width="168"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Three couples one who has been in a long term relationship, just married, and or engaged to be married</span></div></td> <td style="background-color: transparent; border-color: rgb(0, 0, 0) windowtext windowtext rgb(0, 0, 0); border-style: none solid solid none; border-width: 0px 1pt 1pt 0px; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-left-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-top-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 117pt;" valign="top" width="156"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">A scripter</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">An events planner</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">A chef</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">A interior designer <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">A videographer</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">A relationship advisor</span></div></td> <td style="background-color: transparent; border-color: rgb(0, 0, 0) windowtext windowtext rgb(0, 0, 0); border-style: none solid solid none; border-width: 0px 1pt 1pt 0px; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-left-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-top-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 90.9pt;" valign="top" width="121"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Lesbian Marriages are marriages too</span></div></td> </tr>
<tr style="mso-yfti-irow: 3;"> <td style="background-color: transparent; border-color: rgb(0, 0, 0) windowtext windowtext; border-style: none solid solid; border-width: 0px 1pt 1pt; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-top-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 63.9pt;" valign="top" width="85"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">March 30<sup><span style="font-size: x-small;">th</span></sup> <o:p></o:p></span></b></div></td> <td style="background-color: transparent; border-color: rgb(0, 0, 0) windowtext windowtext rgb(0, 0, 0); border-style: none solid solid none; border-width: 0px 1pt 1pt 0px; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-left-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-top-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 81pt;" valign="top" width="108"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Lifestyle </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Theme: Cuban</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div></td> <td style="background-color: transparent; border-color: rgb(0, 0, 0) windowtext windowtext rgb(0, 0, 0); border-style: none solid solid none; border-width: 0px 1pt 1pt 0px; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-left-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-top-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 1.75in;" valign="top" width="168"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">6 Individuals for dinner to share on their coming out stories</span></div></td> <td style="background-color: transparent; border-color: rgb(0, 0, 0) windowtext windowtext rgb(0, 0, 0); border-style: none solid solid none; border-width: 0px 1pt 1pt 0px; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-left-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-top-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 117pt;" valign="top" width="156"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">A scripter</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">An events planner</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">A chef</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">A interior designer <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">A videographer</span></div></td> <td style="background-color: transparent; border-color: rgb(0, 0, 0) windowtext windowtext rgb(0, 0, 0); border-style: none solid solid none; border-width: 0px 1pt 1pt 0px; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-left-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-top-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 90.9pt;" valign="top" width="121"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Lesbians are humans with purpose too</span></div></td> </tr>
<tr style="mso-yfti-irow: 4;"> <td style="background-color: transparent; border-color: rgb(0, 0, 0) windowtext windowtext; border-style: none solid solid; border-width: 0px 1pt 1pt; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-top-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 63.9pt;" valign="top" width="85"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">April 27<sup><span style="font-size: x-small;">th</span></sup> <o:p></o:p></span></b></div></td> <td style="background-color: transparent; border-color: rgb(0, 0, 0) windowtext windowtext rgb(0, 0, 0); border-style: none solid solid none; border-width: 0px 1pt 1pt 0px; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-left-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-top-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 81pt;" valign="top" width="108"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Legal implications’ of being a lesbian </span></div></td> <td style="background-color: transparent; border-color: rgb(0, 0, 0) windowtext windowtext rgb(0, 0, 0); border-style: none solid solid none; border-width: 0px 1pt 1pt 0px; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-left-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-top-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 1.75in;" valign="top" width="168"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Two lesbian in the legal fraternity, task team gov representative </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>and individuals with questions </span></div></td> <td style="background-color: transparent; border-color: rgb(0, 0, 0) windowtext windowtext rgb(0, 0, 0); border-style: none solid solid none; border-width: 0px 1pt 1pt 0px; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-left-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-top-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 117pt;" valign="top" width="156"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">A scripter</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">An events planner</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">A chef</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">A interior designer <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">A videographer</span></div></td> <td style="background-color: transparent; border-color: rgb(0, 0, 0) windowtext windowtext rgb(0, 0, 0); border-style: none solid solid none; border-width: 0px 1pt 1pt 0px; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-left-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-top-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 90.9pt;" valign="top" width="121"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Learning the constitutions</span></div></td> </tr>
<tr style="mso-yfti-irow: 5;"> <td style="background-color: transparent; border-color: rgb(0, 0, 0) windowtext windowtext; border-style: none solid solid; border-width: 0px 1pt 1pt; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-top-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 63.9pt;" valign="top" width="85"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">May 25<sup><span style="font-size: x-small;">th</span></sup> <o:p></o:p></span></b></div></td> <td style="background-color: transparent; border-color: rgb(0, 0, 0) windowtext windowtext rgb(0, 0, 0); border-style: none solid solid none; border-width: 0px 1pt 1pt 0px; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-left-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-top-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 81pt;" valign="top" width="108"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">The lesbian entrepreneur </span></div></td> <td style="background-color: transparent; border-color: rgb(0, 0, 0) windowtext windowtext rgb(0, 0, 0); border-style: none solid solid none; border-width: 0px 1pt 1pt 0px; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-left-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-top-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 1.75in;" valign="top" width="168"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Two CAILB representative, 5 businesses </span></div></td> <td style="background-color: transparent; border-color: rgb(0, 0, 0) windowtext windowtext rgb(0, 0, 0); border-style: none solid solid none; border-width: 0px 1pt 1pt 0px; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-left-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-top-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 117pt;" valign="top" width="156"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">A scripter</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">An events planner</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">A chef</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">A interior designer <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">A videographer</span></div></td> <td style="background-color: transparent; border-color: rgb(0, 0, 0) windowtext windowtext rgb(0, 0, 0); border-style: none solid solid none; border-width: 0px 1pt 1pt 0px; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-left-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-top-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 90.9pt;" valign="top" width="121"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Business opportunities and success stories </span></div></td> </tr>
<tr style="mso-yfti-irow: 6;"> <td style="background-color: transparent; border-color: rgb(0, 0, 0) windowtext windowtext; border-style: none solid solid; border-width: 0px 1pt 1pt; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-top-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 63.9pt;" valign="top" width="85"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">June 29<sup><span style="font-size: x-small;">th</span></sup> <o:p></o:p></span></b></div></td> <td style="background-color: transparent; border-color: rgb(0, 0, 0) windowtext windowtext rgb(0, 0, 0); border-style: none solid solid none; border-width: 0px 1pt 1pt 0px; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-left-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-top-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 81pt;" valign="top" width="108"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">The Lesbian <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Parenting </span></div></td> <td style="background-color: transparent; border-color: rgb(0, 0, 0) windowtext windowtext rgb(0, 0, 0); border-style: none solid solid none; border-width: 0px 1pt 1pt 0px; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-left-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-top-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 1.75in;" valign="top" width="168"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">6 lesbians parents, married, single and </span></div></td> <td style="background-color: transparent; border-color: rgb(0, 0, 0) windowtext windowtext rgb(0, 0, 0); border-style: none solid solid none; border-width: 0px 1pt 1pt 0px; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-left-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-top-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 117pt;" valign="top" width="156"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">A scripter</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">An events planner</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">A chef</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">A interior designer <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">A videographer</span></div></td> <td style="background-color: transparent; border-color: rgb(0, 0, 0) windowtext windowtext rgb(0, 0, 0); border-style: none solid solid none; border-width: 0px 1pt 1pt 0px; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-left-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-top-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 90.9pt;" valign="top" width="121"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Pros and cons of lesbian parenting</span></div></td> </tr>
<tr style="mso-yfti-irow: 7;"> <td style="background-color: transparent; border-color: rgb(0, 0, 0) windowtext windowtext; border-style: none solid solid; border-width: 0px 1pt 1pt; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-top-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 63.9pt;" valign="top" width="85"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">July 28<sup><span style="font-size: x-small;">th</span></sup> <o:p></o:p></span></b></div></td> <td style="background-color: transparent; border-color: rgb(0, 0, 0) windowtext windowtext rgb(0, 0, 0); border-style: none solid solid none; border-width: 0px 1pt 1pt 0px; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-left-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-top-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 81pt;" valign="top" width="108"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Lesbian Fashion </span></div></td> <td style="background-color: transparent; border-color: rgb(0, 0, 0) windowtext windowtext rgb(0, 0, 0); border-style: none solid solid none; border-width: 0px 1pt 1pt 0px; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-left-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-top-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 1.75in;" valign="top" width="168"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">2 Fashionistas,2 Fashion designers, 2 image consultant </span></div></td> <td style="background-color: transparent; border-color: rgb(0, 0, 0) windowtext windowtext rgb(0, 0, 0); border-style: none solid solid none; border-width: 0px 1pt 1pt 0px; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-left-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-top-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 117pt;" valign="top" width="156"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">A scripter</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">An events planner</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">2 Models </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">A chef</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">A interior designer <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">A videographer</span></div></td> <td style="background-color: transparent; border-color: rgb(0, 0, 0) windowtext windowtext rgb(0, 0, 0); border-style: none solid solid none; border-width: 0px 1pt 1pt 0px; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-left-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-top-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 90.9pt;" valign="top" width="121"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Different lesbians clothing lifestyle</span></div></td> </tr>
<tr style="mso-yfti-irow: 8;"> <td style="background-color: transparent; border-color: rgb(0, 0, 0) windowtext windowtext; border-style: none solid solid; border-width: 0px 1pt 1pt; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-top-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 63.9pt;" valign="top" width="85"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">August 25<sup><span style="font-size: x-small;">th</span></sup> <o:p></o:p></span></b></div></td> <td style="background-color: transparent; border-color: rgb(0, 0, 0) windowtext windowtext rgb(0, 0, 0); border-style: none solid solid none; border-width: 0px 1pt 1pt 0px; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-left-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-top-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 81pt;" valign="top" width="108"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">The Lesbian Cultural Woman</span></div></td> <td style="background-color: transparent; border-color: rgb(0, 0, 0) windowtext windowtext rgb(0, 0, 0); border-style: none solid solid none; border-width: 0px 1pt 1pt 0px; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-left-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-top-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 1.75in;" valign="top" width="168"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">7 lesbians from various cultural background</span></div></td> <td style="background-color: transparent; border-color: rgb(0, 0, 0) windowtext windowtext rgb(0, 0, 0); border-style: none solid solid none; border-width: 0px 1pt 1pt 0px; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-left-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-top-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 117pt;" valign="top" width="156"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">A scripter</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">An events planner</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">A chef</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">A interior designer <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">A videographer</span></div></td> <td style="background-color: transparent; border-color: rgb(0, 0, 0) windowtext windowtext rgb(0, 0, 0); border-style: none solid solid none; border-width: 0px 1pt 1pt 0px; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-left-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-top-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 90.9pt;" valign="top" width="121"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Impact of culture</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">To lesbians </span></div></td> </tr>
<tr style="mso-yfti-irow: 9;"> <td style="background-color: transparent; border-color: rgb(0, 0, 0) windowtext windowtext; border-style: none solid solid; border-width: 0px 1pt 1pt; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-top-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 63.9pt;" valign="top" width="85"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Sep 29<sup><span style="font-size: x-small;">th</span></sup> <o:p></o:p></span></b></div></td> <td style="background-color: transparent; border-color: rgb(0, 0, 0) windowtext windowtext rgb(0, 0, 0); border-style: none solid solid none; border-width: 0px 1pt 1pt 0px; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-left-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-top-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 81pt;" valign="top" width="108"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Spring: Sex Health Issues </span></div></td> <td style="background-color: transparent; border-color: rgb(0, 0, 0) windowtext windowtext rgb(0, 0, 0); border-style: none solid solid none; border-width: 0px 1pt 1pt 0px; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-left-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-top-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 1.75in;" valign="top" width="168"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">6 lesbians to talk about their sexuality, guest sexologist</span></div></td> <td style="background-color: transparent; border-color: rgb(0, 0, 0) windowtext windowtext rgb(0, 0, 0); border-style: none solid solid none; border-width: 0px 1pt 1pt 0px; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-left-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-top-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 117pt;" valign="top" width="156"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">A scripter</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">An events planner</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">A chef</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">A interior designer <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">A videographer</span></div></td> <td style="background-color: transparent; border-color: rgb(0, 0, 0) windowtext windowtext rgb(0, 0, 0); border-style: none solid solid none; border-width: 0px 1pt 1pt 0px; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-left-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-top-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 90.9pt;" valign="top" width="121"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Health Sexuality awareness to lesbians</span></div></td> </tr>
<tr style="mso-yfti-irow: 10;"> <td style="background-color: transparent; border-color: rgb(0, 0, 0) windowtext windowtext; border-style: none solid solid; border-width: 0px 1pt 1pt; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-top-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 63.9pt;" valign="top" width="85"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Oct 27<sup><span style="font-size: x-small;">th</span></sup> <o:p></o:p></span></b></div></td> <td style="background-color: transparent; border-color: rgb(0, 0, 0) windowtext windowtext rgb(0, 0, 0); border-style: none solid solid none; border-width: 0px 1pt 1pt 0px; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-left-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-top-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 81pt;" valign="top" width="108"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Travel </span></div></td> <td style="background-color: transparent; border-color: rgb(0, 0, 0) windowtext windowtext rgb(0, 0, 0); border-style: none solid solid none; border-width: 0px 1pt 1pt 0px; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-left-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-top-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 1.75in;" valign="top" width="168"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>7 well travelled lesbians </span></div></td> <td style="background-color: transparent; border-color: rgb(0, 0, 0) windowtext windowtext rgb(0, 0, 0); border-style: none solid solid none; border-width: 0px 1pt 1pt 0px; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-left-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-top-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 117pt;" valign="top" width="156"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">A scripter</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">An events planner</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">A chef</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">A interior designer <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">A videographer</span></div></td> <td style="background-color: transparent; border-color: rgb(0, 0, 0) windowtext windowtext rgb(0, 0, 0); border-style: none solid solid none; border-width: 0px 1pt 1pt 0px; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-left-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-top-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 90.9pt;" valign="top" width="121"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Travel Aspirations</span></div></td> </tr>
<tr style="mso-yfti-irow: 11;"> <td style="background-color: transparent; border-color: rgb(0, 0, 0) windowtext windowtext; border-style: none solid solid; border-width: 0px 1pt 1pt; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-top-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 63.9pt;" valign="top" width="85"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Nov 24<sup><span style="font-size: x-small;">th</span></sup> <o:p></o:p></span></b></div></td> <td style="background-color: transparent; border-color: rgb(0, 0, 0) windowtext windowtext rgb(0, 0, 0); border-style: none solid solid none; border-width: 0px 1pt 1pt 0px; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-left-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-top-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 81pt;" valign="top" width="108"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Books</span></div></td> <td style="background-color: transparent; border-color: rgb(0, 0, 0) windowtext windowtext rgb(0, 0, 0); border-style: none solid solid none; border-width: 0px 1pt 1pt 0px; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-left-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-top-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 1.75in;" valign="top" width="168"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">7 lesbians to review books </span></div></td> <td style="background-color: transparent; border-color: rgb(0, 0, 0) windowtext windowtext rgb(0, 0, 0); border-style: none solid solid none; border-width: 0px 1pt 1pt 0px; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-left-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-top-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 117pt;" valign="top" width="156"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">A scripter</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">An events planner</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">A chef</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">A interior designer <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">A videographer</span></div></td> <td style="background-color: transparent; border-color: rgb(0, 0, 0) windowtext windowtext rgb(0, 0, 0); border-style: none solid solid none; border-width: 0px 1pt 1pt 0px; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-left-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-top-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 90.9pt;" valign="top" width="121"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">A reading lesbian nation</span></div></td> </tr>
<tr style="mso-yfti-irow: 12; mso-yfti-lastrow: yes;"> <td style="background-color: transparent; border-color: rgb(0, 0, 0) windowtext windowtext; border-style: none solid solid; border-width: 0px 1pt 1pt; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-top-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 63.9pt;" valign="top" width="85"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">December 16<span style="font-size: x-small;"><sup>th </sup><o:p></o:p></span></span></b></div></td> <td style="background-color: transparent; border-color: rgb(0, 0, 0) windowtext windowtext rgb(0, 0, 0); border-style: none solid solid none; border-width: 0px 1pt 1pt 0px; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-left-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-top-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 81pt;" valign="top" width="108"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Year End Celebration </span></div></td> <td style="background-color: transparent; border-color: rgb(0, 0, 0) windowtext windowtext rgb(0, 0, 0); border-style: none solid solid none; border-width: 0px 1pt 1pt 0px; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-left-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-top-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 1.75in;" valign="top" width="168"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">20 lesbians for dinner </span></div></td> <td style="background-color: transparent; border-color: rgb(0, 0, 0) windowtext windowtext rgb(0, 0, 0); border-style: none solid solid none; border-width: 0px 1pt 1pt 0px; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-left-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-top-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 117pt;" valign="top" width="156"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">A scripter</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">An events planner</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">A chef</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">A interior designer <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">A videographer</span></div></td> <td style="background-color: transparent; border-color: rgb(0, 0, 0) windowtext windowtext rgb(0, 0, 0); border-style: none solid solid none; border-width: 0px 1pt 1pt 0px; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-left-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-top-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 90.9pt;" valign="top" width="121"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">A year end celebration</span></div></td> </tr>
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<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -0.25in;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">3.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span></b><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Next Step<o:p></o:p></span></b></div><br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">For lesbians to find which subjects they will conversant on. Register with the yet to be appointed convener. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Dinner 4 8 Panel is looking for volunteers:</span></div><br />
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<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 1in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l2 level1 lfo3; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Project Convener</span></div><br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 1in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l2 level1 lfo3; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Vidoegrapher, we already have two individuals who are keen</span></div><br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 1in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l2 level1 lfo3; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Chefs: I have included my name. Fundi Ndaba</span></div><br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt 1in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l2 level1 lfo3; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Guest show hosts for topics</span></div><br />
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</div>Fundi Ndabenihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07013946852106759783noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-296363782317597838.post-10331318864343060782011-11-07T15:44:00.000-08:002011-11-07T15:54:14.411-08:00AFFIRMATIONS<span lang="EN-ZA">Pr<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">eamble: This poem is dedicated to a very special being who once crossed my life. I dont know what had possessed me when I came up with this poem. i think i had just felt like an immortal. It could be. I was transformed or I was out of my skin. But I think I was so lost in our moment, that nothing made sense on this planet. My feet were not touching the ground. And that what I would call a trance.</span></span></span><br />
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span lang="EN-ZA">Affirmations</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span lang="EN-ZA">We the mortals need assurance and continuous confirmation</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span lang="EN-ZA">We need assurance and declaration</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span lang="EN-ZA">We need to show and share </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span lang="EN-ZA">We want to display</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span lang="EN-ZA">for other mortals must know how we feel</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span lang="EN-ZA">what we take home, how we take that home</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span lang="EN-ZA">yet our share of experience is a journey, by a journalist</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span lang="EN-ZA">that we are yet to read and learn from </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span lang="EN-ZA">we the mortals are afraid to accept the gift beyond</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span lang="EN-ZA">we love what we can understand manipulate</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span lang="EN-ZA">hence we collect, own and manage what is in our space</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span lang="EN-ZA">we however know that we have a gift to share and exist beyond our space</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span lang="EN-ZA">by giving endlessly, loving unconditionally, note that today is the only gift we have every day.</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span lang="EN-ZA">we the mortals are on the quest to find what we can not necessary describe</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span lang="EN-ZA">that through the body we can share with other mortals</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span lang="EN-ZA">that we hardly describe as love, construed in our terms</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span lang="EN-ZA">and minimise it to a term coined as love.</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span lang="EN-ZA">to you my dear my share of feelings can only be defined by the immortals</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span lang="EN-ZA">it is beyond the body</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span lang="EN-ZA">it is soul connection</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span lang="EN-ZA">it is the energy that describe immortal existence </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span lang="EN-ZA">We the mortals define channelling our wellbeing to other wellbeing’s as love</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span lang="EN-ZA">i choose to define it as infinite, eternal expression of co-existence that can not be vested in human definitions and intervention. it is limiting</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span lang="EN-ZA">I define it as pure, sheer connection of to beautiful souls with a purpose to be </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span lang="EN-ZA">it is an adventurous journey of two souls admiring that beauty of co-existence.</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span lang="EN-ZA">it is a silent feeling that we dont necessary plan to explain</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span lang="EN-ZA">i am affirming that I am mortal for now</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span lang="EN-ZA">my understanding of love is limited to sharing, wanting, being selfish, wanting and immediate gratifications AND AAAAAAHAAAAA!!!!!</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
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</div>Fundi Ndabenihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07013946852106759783noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-296363782317597838.post-40690459991389888472011-11-02T09:54:00.000-07:002011-11-02T10:17:31.046-07:00My Coming Out Journey : Part 1<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"> I was at a The Bank Club at a friend’s invitation, this past weekend. I left my house thinking that I will be meeting with a friend and we will party up storm. Who knows she could have woken up at my lounge. Only to find out that she has brought her girlfriend. And I came alone. It was one of those events where I decided to brave it alone, dance alone and have as much fun. I got home in the morning, when sky was navy blue, having made new friends</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">At this party, there was this short petite woman who reminded me of my journey of my discovery. She told me that here name was Lola. I liked her hazelnut eyes. I was drinking a good morgitos that night. But I remember her tiny body clinging to me on the dance floor at Capello’s Newtown ten years ago. I was sweating literally cos it was too hot to handle. I also remember leaving the venue gasping for air cos she wanted to dance with me more. At that dance floor she asked me if I am a lesbian. She actually wanted me to take her home for some recreational activities. Me a lesbian, I could not be. I was as straight as a ruler. And I thought I love men, and it never dawn me that I could be attracted to a woman I also remember making a huge u- turn on route so that I go back find her and take her home. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">I did find her and her friends leaving the venue. I took her to her home. Spend three hours practicing kissing her lips. I loved that I kissed her beautifully. I think I bored her to death. She needed more, more movements, more action, more sweating. And I only had my lips. At the time I had thought my lips were the only assets needed to please. I told her that I don’t do women. I find them too exotic to explore. I never saw her again after that night. I continued with my life without her. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"> I don’t remember when exactly did I realize that I m a lesbian. But my coming out journey has been long and painful. And it has made me realized that sexuality is the only journey which I alone have to travel. I can’t explain it to my sisters my parents and all. It is mine alone to travel. I am the second child to my parents. One of their three gals. I was not pretty as my aunt will try to explain why I was different, I think. The one that would stand with eyes closed to receive a kiss but never does. I looked like my father. I had always wanted to be my father’s boy. Pity parts did not grow where they were supposed to. So I was a woman, I am a woman.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">Being thee second child, had me being a little invisible, less heard less spoken to. I think to seek attention I had to go onto extremes of being naughty. I would open radios to see what is in inside, wear my father’s tie wondering what I would be, if I was given a chance. I dressed differently, walked differently, aspired not to conform. Also the most vocal, it was important to be heard. Not sure where being a rebel came from. But I know that I gave my mother a hard time to raise me. She says I was the most challenging of all her three of her offspring.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"> Well until I met her again at the club. She walked up to me and asked if she knows me from somewhere. I thought her face was remarkable familiar. I was amazed at how much she reminded me of those hazel eyes that hypnotized me a few years ago. I blatted that I don’t remember. That she does look familiar. I am sure I am a twin from the past. And I continued dancing away from her. Afraid that she would have clung to me again. And this time I would have blown her away. Lol</span></div>Fundi Ndabenihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07013946852106759783noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-296363782317597838.post-12306726643855878932011-10-31T13:35:00.000-07:002011-10-31T20:36:22.230-07:00“ A Toast to the Purest Form of Love”, a Lesbian Love<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I watched their car with tins banging the road disappear, and a note white paint writings that read Just Married, growing fainter. They were on their way to a honeymoon, in Mpumalanga. The two had just begotten married. My heart is filled with joy. The two deserve each other, I have not seen people, humans who glow with each other’s presence the way the two did. The difference is they are lesbians and they are getting married in South Africa.</span></div><span style="font-family: Calibri;">My country is the best country when it comes to the best constitution in the world. All people are equal in front of the law, all race, gender and creed are respected for who they are. And in her mind, she planned to do right with her. She loved her dearly. She has been there with her for the past three years, and there was nothing that stops them from formalizing their relationship rather than marriage. They both were ready to leap.</span><br />
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">She discovered that she is a lesbian when she was ten years, at the playfield. Our socialization was reinforced through role playing. Thandi was always the boy who fetched wood, and when we played the weddings Thandi was the groom. I liked how she looked in her waist coat and pants and borrowed men’s shoes. Always with short hair. Her mother sometimes called her the boy she never had. After all she had the handsome father features. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was not a surprise when she eventually told her mother that she is looking for a partner, she will bring umakoti(Bride) to the family.</span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">And she brought her girlfriend for the first time to her home during varsity holidays. Her mother cried when <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>the partner left. She said her daughter is doing the very impossible, unimaginable that thing that is <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>to fall for a woman. She was never prepared for her daughter to bring a woman instead of a man. She also assumed that Thandi will never have kids. She daydreamt about grandchildren. They were beautiful together, Thuli makes her happy. And glows each time she mentions her name.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We all congregated at the Home Affairs, in the morning. I felt truly honored to be part of a journey of two souls to be connected into their next journey of being <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was invited as a witness. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They both wore cream white satin suites, Thuli had a flower on her head. And pearls necklace, and stilettos. I liked her soft natural lipstick, and the sattle<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>make up she wore. I observed how Thandi carried her suites on her shoulders, and the pointer shoes she was wearing. She seemed ready to take the step. I did though sense her nervousness when she said her vows. Echoed as “……. I promise to love you til the end of time. My only love.” I shared a tear when they kissed on what seemed to be an eternal seal of beautiful love.</span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">They had dinner with their close family and friends. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Uncle David decided to stand up to blessed their marriage. He said he had never seen or heard about lesbian love, nor did he think he will stand up at a wedding of his niece to tell the world that he is blessing the two. He has never seen such pure love, genuine appreciation for the other like she has seen out of the two. These is a testimony to the most purest form of love, love of two women who plan to spend the rest of their lives together. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He has never heard of it he continued, <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>to share.</span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He said he is embracing it with the pinch of salt, and blame it on ignorance. He continued to say the signs that Thandi was a special child were there, she bought her car whilst a student working shifts as a waitress and shop attendant. She had her flat as soon as she completed varsity. In his mind he thought Thandi was well behaved, little did he know that some of the women were probably girlfriends. We all burst into laughter when he said so. He continued to wish them well and further say that thank God he had from Generations about Invintro and<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>babies chances of being a grand uncle are possible and he looks forward to embracing<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>a grandchild whose name will be Smanga( Amazing). He said we should all raise our glasses to a good drink and toast to the “Purest Form of Love. ” I gulped with a tear in my eye. And wished them well.</span></div>Fundi Ndabenihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07013946852106759783noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-296363782317597838.post-43633575448731437632011-10-19T23:04:00.001-07:002011-10-20T14:32:37.808-07:00Batswana lesbians can love and be loved without guilt<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">I once felt for a Tswana woman. I loved her deeply. I considered her exotic type,the type that volunteers teaching the Baswara in the dessert. I was also intrigued by her level of sophistication. We went to movies, thearter, live perfomances. Dined and dance. She was very conversant and a loving person. My motswana woman. She always said she woull rather be in South Africa that her home country. I never undertstood it until I went to bury the mother. I did dawn me that she meant we could not be affectionate with each other anywhere and everywhere, including her family home. We left Botswana without a kiss, ya kiss. It got me wondering how is that possible.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Not that there are no lesbians in Botswana. I am told, it is virgin territory. For a saturated terrain that South Africa, I stand a better chance to find my lifetime partner. I have vivid memory of her warm.She was the warmest body I hv ever met. God knows I loved her, or should I say I had intense emotions directed to her. I am hoping that was is shared below offers green light for the whole lot of closeted women to come out and be. Someday we will be together.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Festus Mogae, the former President of Botswana, told the BBC that homosexuality should be decriminalised in Botswana. Mogae's call coincides with a potential call to Commonwealth Heads of Government to decriminalise homosexuality as well.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Voices Call for Decriminalisation of Homosexuality </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">From BBC News Africa:</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Then I come to things like same sex relations, men who sleep with men. I don't understand it. I am a heterosexual, I look at women, I don't look at other men, but, there are men who look at other men. These are citizens. If these people can infect each other, that means that a percentage of the population are becoming victims of HIV infection. They have to be helped. Again, I find that if you are arresting them, you will not be able to help them.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Festus Mugae and Kenneth Kaunda, former Presidents of Botswana and Zambia, were on the HIV Free Generation tour in May. At a news conference in Lilongwe they condemned Malawi's criminalisation of homosexuality as harmful to LGBTI persons and the fight against HIV/AIDS.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">In the BBC Debate in May, Is homosexuality un-African?, Mogae placed the rights of LGBTI persons in a human rights framework. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">I did not come out in support of gay rights but I did come out in support of human rights. I am not a pro-gay activist. I say I don't understand the sexual preference but they are entitled to it and therefore they should not be discriminated against, it should not be criminalised. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">I can't understand why you say that homosexuality is un-African when there is evidence that it has always existed and exists today as it does elsewhere in the world. And therefore it appears to me that homosexuality whether we understand it or not or whether we like it or not is as African as it is European as it is Asian...We are trying to pursuade the rest of Africa and show them that homophobia is unjustified.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">The Commonwealth Heads of Government Meeting (CHOGM) in Australia may also include an agenda item asking for the decriminalisation of homosexuality in the commonwealth. Forty-one of the 53 Commonwealth countries still criminalise homosexuality and HIV campaigners say such laws are seriously harming the ability to stop HIV infection.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Leaders will meet in Perth, Australia, next week for the Commonwealth heads of government meeting (CHOGM).</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Australian delegate Michael Kirby said today that the agenda will include a request to scrap anti-gay laws.He told ABC Radio that HIV messages were “very difficult” to get across without removing laws against gay sex. Gay rights campaigner Peter Tatchell, who is calling on people to lobby Commonwealth leaders, said that there is a “strong possibility” that the issue will appear on the agenda.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">But he added that it was “not yet a certainty” and urged people to sign a petition. where do I sign</span>Fundi Ndabenihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07013946852106759783noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-296363782317597838.post-39117397000211648812011-10-19T05:04:00.000-07:002011-10-19T05:19:33.493-07:00Orgasm: The Gift of the Moment<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I think orgasm is the most animalistic incident a human being engages on. You know that humans risk their comfort to have this incident. It happens to the most conservative lot. And to the freakiest, too. It draws a lot of hormones,and energy. And it can be as quick as 3 minutes. Or a lifetime of experience that fades with time. </span><br />
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I dread orgasm. I don’t look forward to it at all. Yet, it is the most rewarding feeling ever. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The feeling I would to love to encapsulate it measure it <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>in my<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> S</span>ex Pleasure Measure Dome(SPMD). SPMD is my newly found tool used to measure sexual gratification whether it was 100% or 90% , or 40%<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>. Infact, I have stopped a long time ago to measure my performance <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>cos the purpose in connecting to your partner depends on how much pleasure she gives me. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Also the measured performance got us loosing the plot. We were forever challenged to outperform the last incident, and yet in lovemaking the intention should be to <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>make love cos it pleases me to make her happy, make me happy. In a way, my priority is to please her and do it at the best of my ability and stay in that moment as and when it happens.</span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I read an article that said that 95% of women don’t know if they have had orgasm. I stood there wondering, have I had this exhilarating moment or have I been imagining it. In other words have I been faking it. I am sure it is possible to fake it, flow with you partner when she starts making funny noises you join in and be noisy with her and scream her name when she screams yours. Until she says a vibrating noise at the end of it you say so too. And you both are humming hmmmrrrrr hmmmmmrrrr together. And silence. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Mind you there is climax that I choose not to give glorify in this platform. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I bought a vibrator to use on me, just to test that I have those muscle that contract involuntary. I was amazed by the sensation I felt in my vaginal area. It left me smiling. I was however disappointed that it lack human character even if I had given it a name as Pinkie cos it was pink. I also <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>did not like that my orgasm escaped me. But it prepared me for any opportunity knowing that I have faked it, until I have perfected my moment. </span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Well, I define orgasm, <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>when love making as your journey of being into another realm, where souls are intertwined and spiral into oneness that interflows into the universe. And that happens for less done a minute or so and stays with you for a long time the after. The art is learning to create a built up that will get you to have the best moment. It is this feeling start way before the real incident, as special if your partner is able to converse with you organ. </span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">It starts with muscle spasm in the genital area quickly diffusing to all body parts. It never crosses my mind exactly where it happens in my being. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Whether it is inside my vagina, the G sport or at the head of pearl. Or how and when my punani is capped. I always get blinded by this moment. I have watched my partners blare stare when I m pleasing her sometimes. My feet wobble and form some jelly surface at best you feel tingly. I hve felt my toes stretching as if to release energy out of the nails. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My spine sends electrifying neurons into every fibre of my being. My body would feel like, <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have just had a trauma and shivers right up to the my brain. I swear I have seen the colours of realm. I have gone into my being and stayed there for just a moment.</span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have learn to call the best orgasmic moment a twirling and a beautiful forceful one. I also like the descent that has always left my body shivering for minutes the after, that feels like an earthquake that happens with intervals until it is silences.</span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I dread orgasm cos the leave me totally absolute exhausted and emotionally displaced. The worst was falling asleep and waking up too late in a day and a wrong place. The best was sleeping for a day thereafter. </span></div>Fundi Ndabenihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07013946852106759783noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-296363782317597838.post-74761782506961987232011-10-18T01:52:00.000-07:002011-10-18T09:32:34.646-07:00Breaking the Circle Of Poverty of An African LesbianS<span style="font-family: Calibri;">he doesn’t consider herself black or white but African. She has made friends across the racial lines, and strives to see herself as human more than a race. She was however pained that she was born with a darker skin, place in a black Christian humble family. She wishes she was a Jew. Her Jewish friends seems to have welcomed homosexuality with open arms. Her name is Kaya. </span><br />
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Her mom was a cleaner at the hospital, and her father,a labour in the firm. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They grew up in the rural outskirt of the city in Joburg Orange Farm. There were four of them, two boys and two girls. Like in all African cultures the inequalities were there a long time. Boys would be given better education that girls, better opportunities than girls. They had to learn to fetch water, and to clean the house where as the brothers were studying. Life was not easy. </span></div><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">K</span>aya’s father was treasure at church. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They prayed twice a day and believed in the Bible. That he had expectations from his family to get married and raised decent kids. He also believed in perpetual family name. The boys school fees was paid for, allowance for college and further training was in place. She has never heard her father say anything more to them than they will finish Matric and get married. He liked saying they should join the women who sell tomatoes in the neighborhood. Amazingly Philile her sister, was quick to appreciate the context of what she is being told by her father. She got pregnant by a trucker and bore two kids in less that no time. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And she had to move in with the trucker.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At school, she was not a bright spark, and doing all the chores she had to do didn’t do any justice to improving the marks at schools.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She barely finished school and had to look for a job to save for the college to study her passion that would have been fashion designing. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Kaya discovered that she had no interest in man. A lot of men in her neighborhood had advances, none of them was interesting. To her parents it meant a well brought up child. Both brothers finished school well. They went to varsity and the other one to college. And got married.</span><br />
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">At one of the church overnight trips she find herself connecting to this woman in a strange way, enough to initiate a strange relationship. The kissing with this woman, Puleng left butterflies in her tummy. She knew that if she was to talk about it, the church will disown her, and be displaced in her parents’ house. She thought that she is possessed by some demon. She asked the church to help pray for her sins without mentioning names. </span></div><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">One day the parent had gone to church, came back and early and found her red handed in her bedroom with a woman engaging intimately. She was thrown out and had nowhere to go. That was the end of her dependency on her parents. Thank god she had save enough to get herself a backroom in Soweto. She worked double shift as a waiter to be able to buy a second hand machine A beginning of a long abusive journey. She did a lot of minor jobs to keep the wolf off the door. She sometimes had gone to bed without food, had to learn to hustle as her way of life. Her crime here was she was a lesbian.</span><br />
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I attended the first LGBTI conference in Africa sponsored by<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>IBM, Anglo America and HP.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>was free. I must confess saddened by the number of attendances. It was a attended by a few, usual culprits, that was the NGO officials and government representatives from Department of Justice. Well at least they were there. These event should be happening every year henceforth. I hope to send a different message. About the support and participation from the African Lesbian community.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I expected to see all departments that could impact in improving the lives of LGBTI to be there, that would have included the Department of Health, Education, Economic Development, and Communications. All this departments would contributed in how they would like to contribute in improving the qualities of Lesbians Transgender, and Intersexed. </span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We shared on the success stories of companies that have appreciated diversity and accepted differences. IBM has a policy called Chapter 4 which is known to all employees. The policy emphasize that they only employ on capabilities and nothing but capabilities, that do not discriminate on colour sex or creed, that they were one of the first companies<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>to remunerate men and women equally. An organization that has skilled their leadership, middle management about acceptance and how they intended using such differences to add value into their organizations. That got me thinking how many of organization in <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>South Africa that can be there to help change the face of the country, empower lives of those who do not have.</span></div><span style="font-family: Calibri;">On the same breath, I also heard of a success story of a couple of lesbian Junie Sihlangu and patner of Stud Nation whose businesses initiative is <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>funded by Coalition for a African of Lesbian Business in Africa (CALBiA) . <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>CALBiA was founded by an Australian white gay activist named Andreas Citak from who felt a need to land a hand to the African Lesbian who is a victim of her sexual identity. The back of his business card has a qoute by Arch Desmond Tutu and it read …….. “and those of us who have a freedom must speak out for those whose freedom is under attack”. I had a tear in my eye. In South Africa, the initiative is headed by <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>a volunteer, Thandi Masuku, who juggles between her day job and her new found passion. </span><br />
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Julie told me that they had submitted their proposal to CALBiA for funding, in the less than six weeks they had started their<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>business. Their background is graphic designers in background who has seen an business opportunity in fashion for a clothing label directed to the African Butch Lesbian. Also they know that they will not make it in the mainstream business which discriminate against women like her. She also told me that they were helped to put the business plan together, in a way learning more about their business.</span></div><span style="font-family: Calibri;">CALBiA has an opportunity of empowering the African Lesbians by creating a <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>business network of services offered by lesbians, offer business mentorship to the young upcoming lesbians, and support for their business ventures. Unfortunately, Kaya like the most of lesbians in her same situation were not aware of the event taking place in Sandton that would have afforded her a chance to grow as a person. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is also possible that she did not have money to get to Sandton even if she heard of it. She is not alone. Many African Lesbians are caught in the circle of poverty. And because of they are background they might never be able come out unless institutions like CALBiA lend a hand. And for lesbians to mobilize themselves to be heard seen and empowered. She has recently submitted her funding request to CALBiA, hopefully to break her circle of poverty</span><br />
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">The African Lesbians are called to mobilize themselves into clusters in their areas, so that need analyses are conducted and roadmaps to help improve their qualities of life are in their areas<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Lesbians who have passion for what they do and are looking into tapping into entrepreneur skills are invited to contact <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>CALBiA Lesbian Africa to register interest and those who are able to land a hand to mentor and support the African Lesbian are invited to do so. For more information about CALBiA, please contact their website </span><a href="http://www.calbia-foundation.org/"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Calibri;">www.calbia-foundation.org</span></a><span style="font-family: Calibri;">. It will also be of value to share your success stories with <a href="http://www.lesbianafrica.blogspot.com/">www.lesbianAfrica.blogspot.com</a>.</span></div>Fundi Ndabenihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07013946852106759783noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-296363782317597838.post-4567944034457273362011-10-16T07:31:00.000-07:002011-10-16T07:35:52.853-07:00My black African Woman<span style="font-family: Calibri;"> While busy blogging I find this piece I hope u like it.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I want to fall in love with my black African Woman</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I m a black African woman, my own kind</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">A queen who knows what my desires are</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Cos I desire her too</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Battered she may be grounded she stands with me</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I am battered, too we dont speak about it</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">For we cant change the past, nor can we change our culture</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>want to fall in love with my chocolate skinned dark woman</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Ans remember to lick her skin every time I celebrate her.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I wonna fall in love with my black African woman</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">And angel who celebrates with me with a tinned fish and bread</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">And we down it with Coca Cola</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">To her a bottle of wine is unheard of</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I wonna fallin love with her</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Her hands can make fire</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I hv felt her fire</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I wonna fall in love with my African woman</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">And walk a mile with her</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">With her breath and birds, my music</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I wonna fall in love with my Black African queen </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Dressed in Kanga or Saronga but nothing underneath it</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">So that she is closer to me when I need her</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I wonna fall in love with my African Black woman</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">To her the queen size bed is as big as the veld its self</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I wil caress her, roll down the hills</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">In love and in a moment</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I wonna fall in love with her</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">And say it<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>over again that I love her, and I love her so</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div>Fundi Ndabenihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07013946852106759783noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-296363782317597838.post-72057719185609656152011-10-10T08:20:00.000-07:002011-10-10T09:59:16.482-07:00I AM A BUTCH LESBIAN WHO GOT PREGNANT AND I AM ASHAME OF IT<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span>My name is Nozipho. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am what you will call a butch lesbian They call me Mazi. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Incidentally Mazi is my grandfather; I look like him, I have been told. That is my alta ego. He is the most domineering personality in me. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I grew up at Mpumalanga with my two <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>sisters. From when I was a kid I identified with boys. I was the boy my parents never had. I played good soccer, dribbled real men to fall of their chairs. I liked tug games that I was excellent in. I also collected wood.</span></div><span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span>I have a husky deep voice and a little Adams apple that I always wished cracked when I was teenager so that I could sing in the bass in our church choir. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My body structure confused a lot. Many asked if I am a man or woman. Thank God I grew up in the 90’s where girls could wear pens at school. I have been on my grey pens all the time.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span>I was a late bloomer with my sexual growth. My breast started growing when I was 16, not so visible. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t wear a bra to date, there is no need.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have menstruated occasionally but it never bothered me cos I hated menstruation. I was a sport active little girl, or should I say boy. I knew I was a lesbian when I was 17years. We were on the trip for inter athletics with other schools on the outskirt of town. I met this feminine woman, at the change room. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was in the evening after running 10kms. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had come out the third. Had this medal on my chest. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She walked up to me and gave me the best lip <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>kiss ever, without saying a word, and walked away. That left me shattered forever. I still want to meet her again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span>And to many gals I was a handsome boy. My parents encouraged me to wear dresses. My play friends used to laugh at me cos I looked weird in them. I actually looked like a drag queen when I am strutting them. So I liked wearing pants. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I also enjoyed mechanics, and fixing the garden. I hated home chores. I did not do as well as I should have at school cos I did not fit in. Gals could not hang with me. Boys bullied me. I did not manage to pass with flying colors as my parents expected. I could not go to varsity to pursue my career in engineer. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span>I ended up at college to do electronics, ended up at a shop fixing TV’S and fridges. I am earning at list every month. Two years ago with my friends we went to watch soccer with my buddies Peter and Mzi. I find myself attracted to a lady called Philile. She was with her female friends at<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>my house warming party in a township where I had just bought a house. It seems people here thought I was a men. I liked how my identity was concealed. I felt secure knowing that they will not break into my house cos I am a woman. I went out to smoke and she followed me outside and asked for the puff. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was amazed at how my body reacted to her presence. I wore a staccato, my hands were shaking. And she noticed. She actually asked what is troubling me. I smiled coyly and told her that I am attracted to her since she walked into the room. I was surprised that she seemed to know what I was talking about. She smiled back, gave me this hug and a smudge kiss on my chick.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span>I am not sure if she knew I was a lesbian. I was not sure if I was a lesbian. I had never had sex with men. I did not see them in that way. I was not sure what will I do if I had to be with a women. I had not spoken to any lesbian about how they engaged sexually. After a few bottles of alcohols, I invited her to come seat on my lap, and she obliged with ease. I gave her back a beautiful kiss. I liked the feeling I was horny. Did not know how it feels to be horny.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I liked how we connected. She did not leave the house. We both stayed behind and kissed.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span>I was about to tell her, that I am not a man by any chance when she silenced me and said she knows. At the time she was fondling my beautiful pubic grid. I swear I grew a penis that day. We made love like there is no other day to connect with each other. I loved her. I wished she moved in the following day. Well, she stayed 25kms away from my house. She came every weekend to visit me. Actually she introduced me to other women who loved other women like me, with whom we had good contact through Facebook.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span>I associated myself with men. I was the man of my house. I loved the feeling of being that Philile shared with me. I was totally blown away by her presence. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was going to marry her, I also liked that I needed to start saving for ilobola. It is in later months into our relationship that some of these newly acquired friends invited me to an outing in a park where we were going to have a picnic. I liked that. I also love the thought that I had an opportunity to meet other women, she was working on that weekend. I also planned to connect with young men whom I gladly call my Facebook friends, my friends. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span>I prepared 12 pack of my favourite Sminorff. I also brought a bottle of Knightwatch whiskey to top just in case we needed more. I had my meat and rolls and firewood. I started a little early to drink, so that I am not as shy when we meet with my Facebook friends. Well I don’t remember if I ate. But I know I was tipsy when I final got there. There were lots of people with whom we interacted with ease. It seemed though that I was the only on odd one in the group</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Too many beautiful women. I was hoping to try my luck. I am sure the more I drank the more I pursued more.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As it was getting late I like the comfort of assurance from one of the boys who told me that they will offer me transport back to my house. He said he stayed a few blocks from my house. You see I loved Philile but she was my first. I had a feeling that I am wrapped in her fingers. She knows that I have never met other women, and she is the only woman I know. Some days I felt enslaved by that.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span>In this group we had lots of buddies whom I continuously supplied with buzz. There was this one who seemed to care for my wellbeing. He made sure my glass if full. I cant remember his name. I think he said Thokozani, or Thulani, or Mtho. I don’t remember. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I liked <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>the comfort of knowing that he could be a good buddy too, when we go back to the township. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Good that he knows so many women too. I will have a snack or two. In the meantime.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span>When it got darker, I was comfortable downing two more shots, or was it four of the whiskey. I know that I had to go hide behind the bushes to relieve myself. And the man that I am had to lower my pants, lower my body each time I was there. I am sure my male friend was alarmed that the man that I am would have change into a woman as the night progressed.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span>Another party was organized while were there, and I like the assurance from this newly find friend that they will drop me at my house. I was getting drunker. I don’t remember the second party. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I sketchily remember hitting the ground. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And some men taking turns to feed off me. And I was helpless. Too intoxicated to remember. Too pained to scream . <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And I woke up alone in the morning with my pants and blood stainted panties off. I was raped. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span>I know that when you are raped you can go to the police station and report your case. I wished I could. But what story do I tell them. That I was raped by strangers I assumed to be my friends for a day. And that I don’t remember cos I was drunk. Let alone a man woman walking into the police station. I could not imagine the humiliation that came with my statement, having to go to the doctor who will open my legs again and examine my private parts. And the shame of relating the story over and over again, I could not bear. I was OK with it. I <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>was not going to say anything to anybody. This was going to be my incident. That I will slowly heal over, alone. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">Not until month five, when I felt sick. I was vomiting, and when I went to the doctor I was told that I<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>am <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>pregnant. And<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was too late to abort. I have never wanted a child. I don’t have it in me to be a mom. I am a dad. That’s what I am. I don’t know how I will tell my partner that I am pregnant. I did not tell her that I was raped. I had to wish her away for the months that followed. My life did not include a child, I did not plan for. Me and my partner did not plan to have kids. How do I tell her. I hid the pregnancy by cooking up a story that I have been moved to Pretoria for the next four months. Until the baby was born……. I am ashamed that I got pregnant, and wish to have the child adopted.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><br />
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></div>Fundi Ndabenihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07013946852106759783noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-296363782317597838.post-4794155494639890802011-10-09T12:17:00.000-07:002011-10-19T07:48:49.539-07:00I told her I love her on our first date.<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> I told her I love her on our first date.<o:p></o:p></span></b><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> have been consciously searching for love. I have paid to be on the net, have sieved through the list.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had my shortlist. And I have two of the three suitors. What amazed me how small the fishpod was, how intersexed these individuals were.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How, when their relationships are not working they are quick to go back for more fish. We also have the dating sites in Africa. </span></div><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I was anxious to meet my third suitor, she called. We spoke for what seemed like eternity on the phone telling me about her background. The kind of music she likes. That we were going to meet and sooner. It happened. We went to an Italian Restaurant, music in background was right. Pavarroti and Friends. The pasta served succulent. And the wine moistened the lips and the heart. We had chocolate and fresh coffee for dessert. </span></div><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It was a blind date I was nervous I knew that cos I had to change my clothes three or four times. Trying not wear too sexy, <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>too revealing, too conservative. I settled for a black semi formal dress, pearly necklace and a red lipstick. I sensed myself with corporeal cologne. I had my description of her, she told me she is slim. I have met bigger women who claim to be slim, she said she is tall. I claim to be taller, and have met taller people. I watched every lady who walked in. Wondered if a different being walked in to seat, what I would have done. I must say a beautiful woman walked in. </span></div><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">She asked me the expected question. What is love? I don’t remember what I responded as but that resulted in a two intense years and apparition thereafter<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I thought I knew love to be an emotion a feeling, a wanting or state of being.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">For many years yonder, I thought I had an understanding of what love is. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have a better description of what that could be than when I was young. I guess,<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am a grown up. Love is a rainbow illusion. Some people are lucky to find the golden pot, others chase it forever.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We all have our little understanding of what love is. We have a background in appreciating that. My description can be scientific: Love is the energy you share with the next. </span></div><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For the very first time at our dinner table, I blurted that I honestly love her. She said she has nor been told she is love on her first date, that I sounded desperate. That she will not be surprised to know that I sweet talk every woman I meet. I thought love was a word used loosely. Over years I discovered that you do not say you love a person unless you are looking for exclusive monogamous relationship. That reminded me of how little we know about the term, word or verb called love. What we think we can use it in substitute of verb I m sexually attracted to you, or I find you attractive.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I am not naïve in using the verb love though. I studied biblical studies many years ago. Love then was described in context as <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Agape, also described as unconditional love. The kind of love that you share spiritually with your fellow beings, <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Eros, the kind that you share sexually with other beings.<span style="color: #204063; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN;"> </span><span lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-themecolor: text1;">Philos love - a love based on friendship between two people. But I learnt that that is limiting. It boxed how I felt about love. I have learnt to love and say it all the time. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-themecolor: text1;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">You see I am a loving person. I feed the birds cos they are God’s creation. I have two dogs that I hve energy directed too. I also have five kids at an orphanage that I like. I have cousins I can barely stand next to that I think I feel responsible to provide for even when I don’t want to. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have a daughter that I love cos she is here with me. My feelings for her cannot be associated with that of relatives, and my parents. And also <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>my sisters. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Infact, I dislike my brother for being irresponsible but I can stand next him and smile. I have many friends. I also believe a relationship should be based on good baseline friendship. To be honest I have some energy directed to all of them at some point in time. It is easy for me to say I love you, cos I assume that energy all the time I channel my energy to the next. And I am able to say "I love you, friend". I guess I said I love her cos I wanted her to know that I am a loving person not cos I meant exclusive sexual attraction. And she assumed that I am desperate. I would have said again to the next woman I meet, but I chose not to cross the line. I could have found myself not getting any, or any connection. Talk about saying things in context.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-themecolor: text1;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So all women I meet, I talk frankly about their beauty, and how attractive they can be.Presuming that they wont notice tha I am talking sexual attraction. It is not in all that I end up in bed with. I have met some that I just connected as humans; I wonder whether to flash my Philos card. And tell them I love them as friends, hopefully they do not get offended by the wording.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She told me she had love too many and cant imagining loving me the same nite. The confusion for me was the feeling was similar with the one I get when buying a new car , or dress or a pair of shoes. I normally look, feel the urge to possess the goods. The brain will start calculating the pros and cons of the goods to be acquired, and tactfully negotiate with whether I can afford them, whether it is good to look at them, whether I have enough credit to buy and consume them. Likewise my brain seemingly uses the same feelers to check if I am capable of acquiring the goods, or the person. It normally registers in context whether I am capable of relating to the person on the other side of the table. I planned to consume the goods on the same nite. </span></span></div><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-themecolor: text1;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Don’t get me wrong. I know a few that I can honestly share that our relationship wont be anything more than a kiss, a hug. And never to call again. Because we just don’t have the connection. I have met women that I would love to take home, roll up and smoke into ashes and wish them away as soon as the urge is gone. I also have women I know that they are way above my budget, in terms of offerings, receiving and giving. The kind that you know do not match your credit card like a Lamborghini. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So yes. I told her I love her on her first date cos it felt rite. We could have connected as friends, as another human being and yet as a my lover to take her home. If only she wanted to be. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-themecolor: text1;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I don’t know what is love. I m not sure if there is any other human being who can give me a better understanding of what love is. I don’t know if I will ever know better. I know though that I am in love with when there is a degree of connection to the next. And I capsulate it and leave in it for as long as there is that energy that keeps me in it. I also know that it disappears…………<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>Fundi Ndabenihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07013946852106759783noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-296363782317597838.post-49218380112047596192011-10-07T22:57:00.000-07:002011-10-09T13:40:19.920-07:00My lover of timesM<span lang="EN-ZA"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">y lover of times</span></span><br />
<span lang="EN-ZA"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">An ex lover visited me many months ago, I hated that she pitched up with salad leaves, parmesan cheese, crockets and a bottle of wine, without warning me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She came in walked through to the backyard to watch the moonrise with me. I prepared the salad by putting all in the bowl. And threw in Smoked Salmon, balsamic vinegar, cocktail tomatoes, <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>and<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I shaved the parmesan cheese in. I had lit the candles and loved watching her moisturized chocolate skin and glowing eyes. I loved the silence as we both chew and appreciated the moment, and watched the red blood moon rise. We would have been in complete silence if it was not that a mile from my house in a busy main road. The noise reminded me of a waterfall in a botanical garden nearby, as water rambled trough the garden.</span></span><br />
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span lang="EN-ZA"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I poured her the second glass of wine and asked her what brings her here. She told me that she have been thinking about me lately. She wants me to know that we have been good together, and she miss all the good time we had. She was wondering if I remember the incident when we made love out there under the sky. That she had always been so conservative about her sexuality that for the first time I have made her realise that she is free to be. She missed how <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>we connected, <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I sighed and gulped. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And wished she had not come back, she had evoked emotions I had stuffed away, far in thoughts. I don’t want to remember. Letting her go was very painful.</span></span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span lang="EN-ZA"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">She was in her late 20’s when we met. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I loved how our minds worked. We had a marriage of mind. She love my music, who loves my kinda music. She loved her space, I did. We loved listening to birds in the morning. I loved cooking for her. She loved food. When we connected, it was be fire. She was my virgin. Every time with her was as good as new. I loved every single incident with her. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She got me to question the attraction to women; I had never thought it was possible. I had dated men before. </span></span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span lang="EN-ZA"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">We <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>both knew that we will part ways someday. In that we did everything we had to, without reservations.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She made me happy. I looked forward to what was in the basket. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I remember to<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>when we celebrated our first year together. We went on to buy paint and canvass. We made love on the canvass<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>painted in different colours, over and over again, until we had a life encapsulating piece.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And called it “ lesbian love’. It hanged on my bedroom wall, I held on to it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Well until recently. </span></span></div><span lang="EN-ZA"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">We were growing closer more, finding every reason to be together. Every time she had to live I had tears in my eyes. I would embrace her as if it is her last time, watched her car disappear, until one day I told her I will like to spend the rest of my adult life with her. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We were in my bed, after morning showers. Her response was she can’t, not in this lifetime. She has met someone, and wants to start a family with him. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think I stopped breathing on that day. The sunlight disappeared; all of the sudden the world was gloom. My life was crushed, I was loveless.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Her explanation was as flimsy. Her mother said she will disown her if she continues being in the relationship with me. That she was possessed with demons for her to fall for me. She has find God that she had to fight temptations everyday to come to me. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That it should not have happened. She is sorry she wasted my time. I held her the whole morning without a saying a word, breathing heavily as if I had a heart attack. I had lost the most beautiful love of my life. </span></span><br />
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span lang="EN-ZA"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Today she smelt of a perfume familiar.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I held he close to my chest, looked at her eyes that seemed to be longing for being lost once again. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She did eventually got married to a man, they have been trying for a child for two years now. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was not happening. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Her sex connection is a painful ritual, she said. That she longs for a connection that was as beautiful as ours.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As she continued to seduce me, I swallowed hard, thinking that I promised not to touch her ever again. She was contaminated; she was not mine anymore to embrace. There is something about her and candles, something about her and moon, something about her and the wine we were drinking, something about eyes that seemed to be begging for my presence. I stood up lit a cigarette. I stood a couple of feet away from her.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As I slowly drew in the nicotine into my lungs, I was imagining what I would do when I finish my cigarette. </span></span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span lang="EN-ZA"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I could feel her eyes on me from her behind. She was silent. I stood there for what seemed to be eternity. I plugged off the cigarette and went back to the seat.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I held her hand, embraced it. This tiny hand was my magic stick. It knew places in me that left me humbled. It knew how to please me. It was my magic wand. I wore a sly smile told her that I had moved on. I loved us completely when we were together, I m not sure if I want to go back to us. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That i m pleased she came to see me, wondered what got her to want to evoke what we both have let by. She said that she was not here to want me back. She just wanted to know if she is still alive. That this is the only thing a friend can do to the other, to inject life back to her. </span></span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span lang="EN-ZA"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I had a lump in my chest, I loved her with every fibre of my being. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have always wondered if love <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>ever disappears. If we are able not to love what we once loved. I have always told her it was her choice to be with me. I held her up, with intentions to get her to go. She held my hand, directed it to her wet punani. She was not wearing her panties. I sighed. I was about to chant my mantra “lord lead us not into temptations”, when she pressed her tiny lips on me. We lip kissed for what seemed to be a lifetime. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I could hear the drums beating between her virgin<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>breast, her body tantrums ,and our breath shifting into some sync. I don’t know how we achieved that. Breathing in sync, moving in sync, gridding in sync.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We had that all the time. </span></span></div><span lang="EN-ZA"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">She had to leave me again. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She was the lover of my life. I am grateful I met her. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am also grateful to the four years of bliss. My lover of times........... BM</span></span>Fundi Ndabenihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07013946852106759783noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-296363782317597838.post-57445134748617063952011-10-03T10:52:00.000-07:002011-10-03T11:06:02.474-07:00A lesbian lost in Joburg Pride 2011<span lang="EN" style="color: #333333; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I attended Joburg Pride 2011 with eyes wide open. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span> My intentions were to observe on the racial divides, or integration. Solidarity amongst LGBTI, if there was an opportunity to learn and or grow beyond as a collective. To also note if Joburg Pride have the same purpose it wld have had many years ago. As to whether the LGBTI is aware about life realities faced by the African lesbians, whether LGTBI of color are able to help embrace challenges across the colors. And whether is served the purpose it is intended in creating awareness and advocacy about the LGBTI community issues and plight. I watched the divides and the festivities as they happened. There were divides and they are real.</span></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 10pt; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span lang="EN" style="color: #333333; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">There were lots of Africans ( blacks) outsides the cordoned area who seemed to be entering through a needles hole into the” white” area.. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was grateful though that there was no stampede or any hazards. I also made it my personal mission to personally to go to all Pride events in the year be it Cape Town Pride <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>2011 and Durban Pride 2011<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>to capture the difference.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I must say my findings were obvious Cape Town Pride was Amsterdam Pride; Durban Pride was Activists Pride, very lesbian. An African Lesbain is lost in Joburg Pride, the Gay community was there to celebrate a life, and lesbians to drink their worries away. After all the theme was Born Gay. Or was it Born tis way. Who cares, who cared<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 10pt; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span lang="EN" style="color: #333333; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The Joburg <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Pride <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>2011<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>is <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>organized by whites who have made it in life, with no compassion <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>for or regard for the realities faced by their black lesbian sisters. I could imagine what was said by the organizers. The message shared in that boardroom was simple, “it not our problem, they need to leave the townships. Or do their thing, we can’t be gloom and doomed, at Pride”. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It seemed that the drivers are not the same; they are worried about revenues generated, instead of using the platform to generate an awareness. I am told the beer was R20 and chips and boerewors was R50. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I also wonder if they were able to consolidate all the activities that were happening culminating into the Pride on Saturday.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 10pt; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span lang="EN" style="color: #333333; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">They had an opportunity of engaging media, to communicate a Pride Bus from Cape Town, the 1<sup><span style="font-size: x-small;">st</span></sup> LGBTI two days Business Conference sponsored by IBM, where organizations like CAILBT were pronouncing interventions for empowerment projects for lesbians in the country. I also doubt if the Joburg Pride Organisers were aware that the Department of Justice employees marched as a collective at the Pride including the <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Deputy Minister Of Justice and Siphiwe Ntombela the Deputy Director: Victim Support and Specialized Court Services, from the Corrective Rape Task Team fame. Again an opportunity lost.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 10pt; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span lang="EN" style="color: #333333; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">In the LGBTI Business conference, there was suggestion that in 2012, there should be a dinner hosted for activists who have helped change the landscape. I can imagine all the former organizers of Pride being acknowledged at that event. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 10pt; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span lang="EN" style="color: #333333; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">www.lesbianafrica.blogspot.com<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>Fundi Ndabenihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07013946852106759783noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-296363782317597838.post-81013422753984800342011-09-27T03:02:00.000-07:002011-09-27T03:02:51.585-07:00SLUTWALKS<span style="font-family: Calibri;">lutWalk</span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">We are generally a bunch of people who are stereotyped not to associate with certain words including isitabane, Pride Parade and prostitute and more. A slut is used by men mostly to demean or violate a sexual charged woman. It is also used by patriarchal society who assumes that women can’t define their sexual wants like man. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is in that box that we lose our selves based on the belief system and the use of language to paralyze our being as women. It is in those names or words that we tend loose context and an understanding of the meaning of such. For me it will be like asking is it ok to be part of Pride?</span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">SlutWalk is an international event as a result of an officer who said that women who dress like sluts will get raped because they looked for it. I am of the view that men think in that way of women. And yet butch lesbians still get raped dressed appropriately. As a result, women from all over the world had to go on the streets to share that they are who they are at the time dressed or dressed at all. No one has a right to take away the bodies without their permission.</span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I would go to those events because I am a woman, who appreciates her presents without being defined by a man. My body is mine to use to pleasure me at my own expense.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I would like for men to know that if slut is a term as described above, I can be a slut without prejudice , if they are sluts too, at my own space and time and being without fear of my slutishness<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>being associated with what I am, NOT. </span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">So every year with my daughters and nieces, we will wear “appropriate” with a placard that reads. I AM A WO-MAN, LET ME BE A WHOW MAN.</span></div>Fundi Ndabenihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07013946852106759783noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-296363782317597838.post-76785583358959087172011-09-26T08:04:00.000-07:002011-09-26T08:04:14.584-07:00Why do women who love women love the way they do<em><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This discusion is as the result of </span></em><a data-hovercard="/ajax/hovercard/user.php?id=100002494462519" href="http://www.facebook.com/diopelo"><span style="color: #3b5998; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><em>Diopelo Thefirstlady King</em></span></a><em><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> of Friends of the closets And her question Why are we dating other women? Especially the ones who have been with guys before,what caused the cross pathing? And why do we use toys</span></em>. <br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">The first being when is the best time to discover their sexuality, what gets a woman to realize that they are attracted to women, is it possible that a woman can have a sexual shift form men to woman, and woman to men? Do women who once dated men use toys as a substitute for penis satisfactions? </span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">My response: <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Amazing enough, what differentiates a homo from hetero is the sexual orientation. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>However recent research is confirming that there is more than sexual orientation to how homos are crafted. In an article <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Wired This Way</i></b> <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">by<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></b>It is translating that <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>some male homos are born with personality traits that are supposedly feminine e.g nurturing<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">. </b>That we are born with it.<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"> <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The only journey that you learn alone is your sexual journey. </b><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You are groomed into religions. Our culture becomes the way of our being, and traditions tend to be embodied into our femininity. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We are born with different backgrounds, cultures and religions. At best our background deduces a people we become later. For most people sexual awareness happens later in their teens, when they become aware of sexual sensations. It is in this sensations when u discover that you are attracted to the opposite sex, or same sex. But again it is not until you have experienced either sex that you are able to honestly say I am truly satisfied with my sexuality.</span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Becoming aware of our feelings?<o:p></o:p></span></b></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">What gets a person to realize that she is attracted to another. It is awareness. When do we become aware of our feelings? Some women are lucky to be aware of lesbianism at a tender age, in that way they don’t have to waste time and energy on men. (LOL). It is in that identity that they are able to associate their sexuality with common norms, hence butch or femme, or tomboy for that matter. Some do not have the luxury of finding their sexuality. The culture and norms become their reality. Based on sex, that is female. You will be expected to be groomed to be female, and get married to a man, and have kids cos that is expected of you. Because being a lesbian is unhead of, in those communities, even if it is heard of it is not a norm, we find ourselves complying cos it is expected of us to. And is she is lucky to be aware at worst it is too late to change the norm, there are kids involved and not just kids, but husbands and the bigger society. That they would rather not have complicated in their Facebook status.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Is it possible for a woman to shift from man to woman, and woman to man?<o:p></o:p></span></b></div><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Yes it is. The only way to be sure of your feeling and sexual gratification is through exploring. How else can you be sure that you are what you are unless, you taste. Because we are a judging society we tend to assume that bisexuality is done by greedy men and women. And yet it could be that the offering of each experience are different, and satisfying on its own. We will never know the sensations of the <span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;"> </span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">bisexual, unless we are in their space. Can a lesbian woman have a bit of both. Our society tends to undermine lesbian liquidity, circumstances and the energy we carry as and when we engage other beings. For those who are fine with it, they can honestly share that like a choice in wishing for beef or chicken. We have our choices. Also we must note the cultural pressures and economic dependencies for some <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“lesbian wonna be”. We can’t judge them even if they are depilating our stock.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Do women who once dated men use toys as a substitute for penis satisfactions? <o:p></o:p></b></div><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;"> </span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">I am sure that is stereotyping. It is lack of awareness more than anything. Men and women use toys, not to substitute their sexuality but to enhance it. Toys are made to be played with, to titillate where hands and penises can’t. And to be embraced by both sexes. Until I used my hand, I never thought it was possible to gratify and be gratified by another. I have actually sent my hand for electro tesing just to check the sensation on my fingers, and how that impacts on the nervous system and my sexual gratification</div><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;"> </span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">I am humbled.</div><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;"> </span>Fundi Ndabenihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07013946852106759783noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-296363782317597838.post-45590728932366603592011-09-12T09:48:00.000-07:002011-09-12T10:19:16.585-07:00My Trip To Drankesberg Lesbian Camp……<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">My Trip To Drankesberg Lesbian Camp……</span></b><br />
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">PART1 <o:p></o:p></span></b><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I had a wonderful, wonderful time. My gratitude goes to Bibi King, very hospitable. You would have sworn that she owns the place.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She was able to welcome us at 01H00 Saturday in the morning. She made sure we are all sorted with accommodation. I expected it to be the biggest event ever, with loads and loads of tents. I was disappointed by the turnout. Elsa the owner said this was the first Women Only Event that she has hosted. She hopes that one day there will be a bridge that divided the lesbian colors in the country. She went on to quote Steve Biko that “until we find the common ground we would have not find the bigger purpose to fight the common enemy”. She went all out in putting together the event. I doubt if it was profitable. I hope though that she does not give up yet. Nevertheless, it was a very intimate most multiracial lesbian camp in the country so far, I do lots of lesbian camps.</span><br />
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">When camping, I normally have a list of things to take with to the camps. I learned over years that camping is about survival. You go in with basic survival kit. So it is important that you have everything well thought of including what you will be wearing and the weather possibilities to. I had a drafted list. I had the tinniest tent that I have taken with to Cape Town Lesbian Camp last year in some exclusive venue near Robertson. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You will need a torch and a locker. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had meat, rolls, salad leaves, coctail tomatoes, onions, spices and sauces in a cooler bag. For breakfast I brought two bowls, WheatBix <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>and a little sugar bowl. I also brought picnic backpack with wine glasses, plates and cutlery. I also brought a salad bowl, and serving spoons.</span></div><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>On the contrary, I did not need to bring half what I took with. The place is a backpacker’s haven. I was worried though that the food might rot. Only to learn that they actually have fridges where campers can store their goods. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Most of the basic necessities are provided for, including the potjie pots. Had I known, I would have cooked up a storm. I have been told I cook the best potjie by my circles of friends. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">It makes sense why it is called the Amphitheatre Backpackers, it is in between mountains. You would swear gods above were watching lesbian theater performance below. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It lies 24kms in Bergville, just below the Drankensberg Mountains. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It also makes sense that the wind is so strong to blow the tents away. For a travelled camper, it would be important to find shelter closer to the bungalows so that the house structures protect the tents.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I picked up a good spot, cos in the morning I was waken up by a Grey Loerie cleaning its nest pertched at grassroof top of the bungalow. Not for a minute was my tent blown away. Wel,l not unless by orgasmic shakes of incidents that might have happened in there. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The owner Elsa told me that her biggest market is the international backpackers. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When I asked how the travelers find themselves at the place so far far away. Her response was Baz Bus lives Jozi and Pretoria daily to Bergville, at reasonable amount all the time. </span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We had a world child called Marie Claire whose home is a bag. One tends to wonder what happened that she is always on the move. She was on her way to India and she was in Brazil before being in South Africa. I was continuously amused by her shoeless feet, wearing ankle bangles. When I later asked her what was she about. She was able to tell about her journey of being totally free and in contact with Mother Nature. I will have that as a topic for another day. </span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">On the hired bus, it was only lesbians. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The driver Sbo and her partner , Mpho <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Manaka whom I continuously called Shoki after hearing her nickname being called. Only to learn later that its actually Shorty, with whom we exchanged conversations with. We had Bonny Tshabalala and her partner. Loved her sense of humor, you will never get bored with her. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She seemed always excited to share and comment. We also <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>had a couple namely Brown and her partner. I was so glad I met Lesego whom I have met during the Durban Pride. She is a DJ who plays beautiful music.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And there was also another tiny beautiful creature who sat next to Lesego. I can’t remember her name. I won’t bother you with the details of how we got there; expect noting that you pass many tollgates, and few petrol stations. And we came back with Chacha, who was so so cautious about our safety that she ended up telling the driver not down it anymore. </span></div><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I liked that we had a full moon. I love the romance of glowing eyes in darkness offered by Mother Nature.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In darkness, I could see the mountains shapes not far from Ladysmith, due to the moonlight and I also could see the lonesome Camel Thorn Tree. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I could not wait to come back to see it on route back home during the day. </span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">There is a jacuzzi <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>at the entrance next to the bar. I did dive into the Jacuzzi almost naked, on Saturday morning with Fenix some model chick who is a chef, and the young ones. Wished my hands could do talking under the water. And I was disappointed by those who dunk and soaked their feet at our expense, whereas they should have been naked with us in the water. Only came out when it hit me that some of us might have athletic feet. Lol </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">On Sat, we all congregated at the pool area not far from the bar where there was buzz and interaction, under a “woman made gazebo”. I wondered how much material had to be sewn together to get it to what it turned out to be. We had some beau strip dancing and teasing the whole afternoon on Saturday. Just realized that I am gay, when I watched tis naked with the trimmest female body take out her clothes in front of sex craze lesbians. I could not help feeling hot flushes. She must be very brave.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I liked DJ Mbali who played contemporary afro centric acid jazz and some world music. Beautiful. We had other DJ's including some Indian DJ who took us through memorylane on songs like "Ke ba kadi botsotso" by Micheal Jackson and some songs like "Frikka Fella". We also had live performance from two groups. Ok, I will sound racist for a moment. Black and white female artists performed in time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Pardon me for being black I enjoyed the African ladies who performed. Their soundtracks sounded anything in between Jill Scott and Zahara. They have a debut album.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And peeps were lucky to get their autographed CD on spot. My only challenge was the DJ timing was bad. Very Bad. We had to endure serious pain of serene pop music, that I last listened at OppiKoppie in Potcherstroom many years ago.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>DJ Lesego rescued us from pained ears around 01H00, we rocked it until very early hours in the morning. I watched Dulcy graced the dancefloor. I have never seen her danced in that way. Have been wondering if it is cos she is always at work at her Open Closet club instead of dancing. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><br />
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</div>Fundi Ndabenihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07013946852106759783noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-296363782317597838.post-41391545146715133862011-09-08T00:49:00.000-07:002011-09-12T10:26:42.635-07:00Why do lesbians in relationships still lust for other women, even when they know that they are in other relationship.<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span class="messagebody"><span style="line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><strong>Why do lesbians in relationships still lust for other women, even when they know that they are in other relationship. Written by CNN</strong></span></o:p></span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: x-small;"></span></div><span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: x-small;"></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span class="messagebody"><span style="font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Your question has been one of the many questions that I have been pondering since I discovered my sexuality. I am from patriarchal relationships, you see. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have dated a few women who have been with a handful of women, I also have one friend with whom we sat at the table where she has had sex with all six women. And proudly said she will have their partners too, if they are available. I had to ask her how she does this. Has she ever loved anyone before, or is she just a player by nature. Her comment was that clearly I am new in the game and I don’t have a gay friend. Until then she reserves her comment<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span class="messagebody"><span style="font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I am from a family where values are the order of the day. I was brought up in an extreme Christian family where being monogamous is a norm, as a result I have always been a one woman woman. It felt right. I had to start joining my cousin brother to his gays parties so that I have a glimpse of the lifestyle of gay men, as suggested by my friend Bridge.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span class="messagebody"><span style="font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">We went to the gay friendly club at Melville. Lo and behold, I have been naïve. There is no gay man who has not have had one, or all of them. And the truth is they are honest and prompt about their immediate needs. They like you now , they tell you, and have you right now.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And tomorrow they might pretend they never saw you, and no hard feelings. And when I asked him he said it is a norm and he is spreading some love. There was a way in which he said it, throwing his hands all over, like a gay man. Lol .<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> I translated it to be a norm.</span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span class="messagebody"><span style="font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I also have dated women who left me for others, at first I would be offended cos that meant <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>this womin <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>that I date do not understand my values and how I throw myself to the relationship, and also how they misunderstood my share of love. Worst was when we had an honesty day where she had to tell me that they had screwed half of the country.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had to find myself intersexed without my permission.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span class="messagebody"><span style="font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">My observation as to why we cheat is most of women I dated were never in a long term relationship, which becomes their trend later, subconsciously It becomes a standard way of life that by month fourteen, she is bored already. She unconsciously packs her bags and leave. She stops doing what she has been doing all along. Until there is nothing left to do. They seem to be looking for newness; to others it is as good as collecting trophies. So there is power in wanting and being wanted. I guess it is the shallowness at which they look at the relationships. And not bringing in the shared values into the relationship. <o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span class="messagebody"><span style="font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I also thought lusting is as a result of looking for what you think is lacking in your relationship. The composite theory suggests that we all have ideals that we are forever looking for in our partners. And cos we can’t find them in one person we are forever trying to find it in others. I would still love to meet a person who share her values with me, that we will be there for each other in a sexual social monogamous relationship. Until then I am one of them</span></span></span></div><span class="messagebody"><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Is it a wrong thing though that they can spread themselves the way they did. I have been single with needs to fulfill, and have had good sex with strangers, that I did not have to marry to have sex with. And some of them have partners. My comment was until I was part of the web, I could easily judge. And be angered by their behavior. I have learnt to normalize it. The difference is I am honest, have not cheated and have enjoyed my single status to date. And have welcomed compliments and secret encounters from your partners. </span></span><br />
<br />
<span class="messagebody"><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I did eventually go back to her after six years into my newly find identity, and she asked me, do I still think that I can honestly ask her the question about her sexuality and the choices of women she engage. My response was I could never say no to normality in an abnormal life. I hav actually learnt to spread some love tooo in an unloving enviroment. And I praying that AIDS does not find me in the process.</span></span>Fundi Ndabenihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07013946852106759783noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-296363782317597838.post-71211094587344869252011-09-06T06:29:00.000-07:002011-09-12T10:31:08.457-07:00Is it natural for human being to be monogamous:<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><strong><span style="color: black; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I</span></strong></span><strong><span style="color: black; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">s it natural for human being to be monogamous:</span></strong></div>(<em>This post is as a result of the question raised by Mfenekazi KaNdukuma of Friend Of the Closet, and I promised to respon)</em><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 10pt; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span class="ft"><span lang="EN-ZA" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN-ZA; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Monogamy is defined as an exclusive sexual relationship between a female and a male</span></span><span class="MsoHyperlink"><span lang="EN-ZA" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN-ZA; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;"><u>...</u></span></span><span lang="EN" style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">. LOL, for lesbians. It should read between female and female. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span class="st1"><span lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN-ZA; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></span><span class="st1"><span lang="EN-ZA" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN-ZA; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I will assume the premise of the question is about whether it is natural for humans to be monogamous, or is it learned cultured way of life. My approach was to look at the history of human and animal behaviour and form basis of my conclusion about the findings thereof. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Perhaps it wld be important to ask if there<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>is a kind of <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>animal that is set to be <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>sexually exclusive to the partners <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>forever.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span class="st1"><span lang="EN-ZA" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN-ZA; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There have been behavioural researches have conducted the by zoologists/ biologists to conclude whether animals can be monogamous. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>research also based on evolution, link human behaviour to that of homosapien and primates. <o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span lang="EN" style="mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span lang="EN" style="mso-ansi-language: EN;"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span lang="EN-ZA" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN-ZA; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;">The findings were that </span><span lang="EN" style="mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;">monogamous pairs of animals are not always sexually exclusive. Many animals that form pairs to mate and raise offspring regularly engage in sexual activities with partners other than their primary mate. I<span style="color: black; mso-themecolor: text1;">t is called <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Extra-pair_copulation" title="Extra-pair copulation"><span style="color: black; mso-themecolor: text1; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;">extra-pair copulation</span></a></span>, also know to be cheating to monogamists. Sometimes these extra-pair sexual activities lead to offspring. Genetic tests frequently show that some of the offspring raised by a monogamous pair come from the female mating with an extra-pair male partnership . Only 90% of bf birds engaging in social monogamy while only 7% of mammals were known to be socially monogamous instead of being sexual monogamous. The incidence of sexual monogamy appears quite rare in other parts of the animal kingdom. It is becoming clear that even animals that are socially monogamous engage <span style="color: black; mso-themecolor: text1;">in <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Extra-pair_copulations" title="Extra-pair copulations"><span style="color: black; mso-themecolor: text1; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;">extra-pair copulation</span></a>. </span>I gapsed with such finding</span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">. </span></div></span><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"></div></span><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"> <span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span lang="EN-ZA" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN-ZA; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;">Further to that it also came out that there are other aspects of monogamy that can be defined as <b>social </b></span><b><span lang="EN" style="mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;">monogamy</span></b><span lang="EN" style="mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"> referring s to two persons/creatures who live together, have sex with each other, and cooperate in acquiring basic resources such as food, clothes, and money. <b>Sexual monogamy</b> refers to two persons/creatures who remain sexually exclusive with each other and have no outside sex partners. <b>Genetic monogamy</b> refers to two partners that only have offspring with each other. </span><span lang="EN" style="mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;">Whatever makes a pair of animals socially monogamous does not necessarily make them sexually or genetically monogamous. Social monogamy, sexual monogamy, and genetic monogamy can occur in different combinations. Also a serial monogamist, who engage with one partner after the other in monogamous relationship.</span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span lang="EN" style="mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"></span></span><span lang="EN" style="mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">With that in mind, are humans naturally monogamous.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We are mammals before we are human. It is presumed to many that we are supposedly born to be socially monogamous. In the history of mankind that has been wishful thinking about sexual monogamy than in reality. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>History has confirmed beyond doubt how intersexed our society is. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Patriarchy culture, copied from our primate brothers promote that man could have as many female partners as possible for basic resources such<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>as sexual monogamy. Do we do it deliberately? No it is in our nature to be that, it can only be genetically imprinted. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>Fundi Ndabenihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07013946852106759783noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-296363782317597838.post-76742922072827892542011-09-04T11:01:00.000-07:002011-09-12T12:19:54.407-07:00LAUNCH FEATURE: DO LESBIAN RELATIONSHIPS WORKOUT<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 9pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">We have deliberated about the topics we would love to be the launch feature for the African Lesbian Blog. We wanted a topic that will feature ordinary lesbians. We wanted their stories to be heard by their friends, colleagues, and strangers, who might be interested in knowing about the realities in the lesbians’ community. Lesbian African Blog will feature real life stories, careers, parenting, fashion health issues affecting them . It is meant to educate entertain and share . </span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 3.75pt 10pt 0in; mso-outline-level: 2;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 9pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Join us on our launch issue as we cover a feature about real life story of </span><b><span lang="EN" style="color: #333333; font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 18.0pt;">Marshmello Butch Cadress and her partner who have been together for more than” eight glorious years” as she say it. We will share tips<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>on what has worked for them, what they are doing daily to stay in love…..</span></b><b><span lang="EN" style="color: #333333; font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 18.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></div>Fundi Ndabenihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07013946852106759783noreply@blogger.com0Africa-8.783195 34.508522999999968-46.531023499999996 -9.0632270000000332 28.964633499999998 78.080272999999977tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-296363782317597838.post-7701803944402447902011-08-22T12:06:00.000-07:002011-08-22T12:06:53.316-07:00Real life Stories: What future do you and your partner have together as African Lesbians? <br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Real life Stories:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What future do you and your partner have together as African Lesbians?<o:p></o:p></span></span></b></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Preamble:</span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">She could not wait to get home to tell her partner about the good news. She is finally pregnant. She had gone past the doctor to confirm the good news. They both wanted this child. They had day dreamt about it. It was going to be called Tisetso, as in to firm their relationship.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It would have brought more purpose into their lives. This is one child they both wanted to have. Okay, she wanted her more. Her partner Busi, <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>has a child that she got many years ago. Mpho is her name, she loves her to bits. She has known her for four years now. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She is a teenager who goes to boarding school. They both can’t wait for her to come home during holidays, to feel like a big beautiful family. </span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">They have a beautiful home in Fourways, in a golf estate. It was bought by Busi, a year before they got married. Not all the family members attended the wedding. They are not so supportive of this lesbian status. Busi’s father is a Pastor and her brother is something serious in the church.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The family told her that it is her lifestyle that is not acceptable in God’s eyes. They won’t mind it as long as she stays far from them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I imagine that as a reason for her to be that educated. She wanted to be far away from the parents. </span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Busi met Nthati when she has gone to the hospital accompanying her daughter Mpho who had flu, many years ago while she was doing her practical as a radiologist. They felt in love and have never been apart since that day as Busi defines her love for her. “She finishes my sentence; I get home to a warm soul. I am never cold with Nthati. I love her with every fibre of my being. ” And sigh.</span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">They have a warm home, four bedroom house with four lounging areas a swimming pool, and entertainment area and the gym. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And a lots of seating outdoor areas, with a rose garden.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Busi is passionate about flowers. Last year when the flower bloomed, she had a candle dinner prepared for two, surrounded by scented roses at the glow of candlelight. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And they had each other nothing really mattered.</span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">She got home excited, and looking up at where Busi normally parks the car. She is normally early on Tuesdays.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She had gone to Mpumalanga to present the Audit Reports and Recommendations. She has done this many a times, all over South Africa. And she seemed to enjoy every relationship she formulates with the clients. Nthati knows that Busi will always phone to say whether she will cross night <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>or she will be home later. For some stranger reason she has not called. Or if she did call, that was when she was in the consulting rooms. For some strange reason, she had a deep sigh of sadness that enveloped her………..</span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">She has called her frantically as the sunset , twenty-six times to be precise. Little did she know that the night brought the worst news ever.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A visit from the police to tell her that she has passed on in a fatal car accident at Machadodorp. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Her life was about to change forever. No scream, tear ,pain could<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>console her .</span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><br />
</div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">They have been married for two years, who plans for a partner’s death in two years of marriage. Who plans for a partner’s death in a way. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Nthati’s parents don’t know that she was married to another woman. They have known Busi as her best friend, a friend who was there on her graduation, <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>a friend with whom they share a house. Nthati’s siblings know cos they have seen the two close the doors behind them. And only coming out to drink fridge water. She had met Busi’s family at the church when Busi decides on the place of worship; they have been to their house once for a barbeque and prayed for the food before the lunch. They sat in the lounge the whole time. </span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Nthati called her sisters to come to her house, and calls Busi’s mom to tell her to come through to the house immediately. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Upon arrival, the family had told her to go home to her family, that they will bury their daughter in their own way. She does not have a say. The house was in Busi’s name. And the two cars they both used. She was told not to see Mpho ever again. </span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">The mother in law told her”, Unfortunately<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>your marriage certificate does not have<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>clutter or sound bites here. My daughter was my child too. I will bury here how I see fit. We never saw cows from you, and your family. And try to think this Nthati, there was no marriage, if there was it was not within the confines of<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>my culture.”</span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Lessons Learned<o:p></o:p></span></b></div><br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>African Lesbians marry based on love mostly, without carving the path as to how they plan to leave together. Discuss your plans once settled.<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><o:p></o:p></b></span></div><br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Some stay together for 10 years without marriage and when they pass on, they are treated as no entity. South African Law protects cohabiting as long as you can prove it.<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><o:p></o:p></b></span></div><br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">As soon as you get committed, have wills drafted, including how you will like to be buried.<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><o:p></o:p></b></span></div><br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">They normally don’t go about planning insurance policies, they pass on without giving their partners comfort as it is expected from hetero couples.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Invite the insurance man.<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><o:p></o:p></b></span></div><br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Busi would have wished for Mpho to have a relationship with Nthati , if it means that much to your partner, get the adoption forms.</span></div>Fundi Ndabenihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07013946852106759783noreply@blogger.com2